???但在你開始邀請(qǐng)同事共赴午餐、晚餐和“找樂子”前，不妨先花點(diǎn)時(shí)間了解一下公司同事的交往現(xiàn)狀，看看他們是建立、加深友誼的模式。

????“感覺你和某個(gè)人有聯(lián)系，會(huì)帶來不同。它是幸福之源，”《新領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人的百日行動(dòng)計(jì)劃》（The New Leader's 100 Day Action Plan）一書的作者、顧問喬治?布萊特表示。不過，“如果你進(jìn)了一家人們不吃午餐的公司，卻開始邀請(qǐng)人們共進(jìn)午餐，那就是在自找麻煩?！?/p>

????例如，有家瑞士大銀行的一位經(jīng)理轉(zhuǎn)到澳大利亞辦公室工作后，希望給同事留個(gè)好印象，于是邀請(qǐng)所有人出席一場(chǎng)晚上7-8點(diǎn)鐘的晚宴會(huì)議。結(jié)果遭到了整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)的拒絕，人們說：“我們5點(diǎn)就下班了?！卑⒖嘶貞浾f：“這位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)只能全面改變領(lǐng)導(dǎo)風(fēng)格?！?/p>

????“在有些公司里，下班后請(qǐng)直接上司去喝一杯是件好事，”布萊特同意?！暗诹硗庖恍┕纠?，就不太適合。你請(qǐng)他們喝酒，會(huì)讓他們無法和家人團(tuán)聚。還不如在早上請(qǐng)他們喝咖啡或中午一起吃午餐?！?/p>

????布萊特說，可以問問人們是如何互動(dòng)的，了解一個(gè)公司的文化，但也要留意人們的回答是否準(zhǔn)確。慢慢地，一位有決心的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人最終可以改變企業(yè)文化，讓它整體變得更具社會(huì)支持力。

????如果拿不準(zhǔn)，從為同事提供專業(yè)支持做起總錯(cuò)不了。阿克說：“一旦你開始邀請(qǐng)人們與你碰面，或者開始在工作中幫助他們，你就改變了交往模式?！?/p>

????身處男性主導(dǎo)行業(yè)中的女性尤其可能在工作中被孤立，常駐紐約的職業(yè)發(fā)展教練米歇爾?弗萊德曼表示：“感到被孤立的人……在參與度和生產(chǎn)率方面都表現(xiàn)不佳。”

????比如，有些母親就不愿在工作場(chǎng)合聊他們的孩子，擔(dān)心會(huì)被貼上標(biāo)簽或看輕，難以與同事真正打成一片。

????“工作場(chǎng)合的紐帶往往源于人與人之間的共同點(diǎn)?？梢允且黄鹋Φ囊粋€(gè)項(xiàng)目，或者共同處理的一宗案子或交易，”她說。“更深層次的紐帶是你感覺自己和這整個(gè)人都有關(guān)系；而不僅僅是他的職業(yè)領(lǐng)域?！?/p>

????譯者：老榆木

????But before you start inviting colleagues to lunch, dinner, and happy hour, take a moment to understand the importance of context. Look at how people in your organization create and deepen friendships.

????"Feeling like you're connected to someone else makes a difference, it's the root of happiness," says George Bradt, a consultant and author of The New Leader's 100 Day Action Plan. Still, "if you go into an organization and start inviting people to lunch in a place where people don't do lunch, you're in trouble."

????For instance, a manager at a large Swiss bank moved to the company'sAustraliaoffice and wanted to make a good impact by inviting everyone to a dinner meeting at 7 or 8 p.m. The team actually refused, saying, "We're done by 5." "That leader had to completely change his leadership style," Achor recalls.

????"In some organizations, inviting your direct reports out for drinks after the workday is a good thing," Bradt agrees. "In others it's an insult because you're making them drink and taking them away from their family. You have to take them out for coffee in the morning or lunch."

????You can learn about an organization's culture by asking questions about how people interact, but you must also observe whether the answers to those questions are accurate, he says. Over time, a determined leader can shift the culture to being more socially supportive overall.

????When in doubt, you can always begin by offering professional support to colleagues. "As soon as you start asking people to meet up with you or helping people with their work, you change the social script," Achor says.

????Women in male-dominated industries are particularly at risk of being socially isolated at work, notes Michelle Friedman, a professional development coach based in theNew York Cityarea. "The ones who feel isolated ... suffer in terms of engagement and productivity," Friedman says.

????Some mothers, for instance, resist talking about their kids at work for fear of being typecast or discounted, which keeps them from truly connecting with co-workers.

????"Workplace bonds generally form around things that people have in common. It can be working on a project together or if you're on a case or deal together," she says. "The deeper bonds I've seen are where you feel the bond is with the whole person; it's not just on the professional level."