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職場伴侶的喜與憂

職場伴侶的喜與憂

Katherine Reynolds Lewis 2013年02月20日
他們一周7天,一天8小時待在一起,但卻不是家人,也不是愛人。沒錯,他們就是所謂的職場伴侶。職場伴侶在工作上相互支持,有時甚至在生活中也相互幫助。但是,一旦這種關系過了頭,不僅會威脅到職業(yè)生涯,還會危及個人的感情生活。

????戴維?庫爾茨在為自己現在的妻子瑞貝卡挑選訂婚戒指時,曾向“工作配偶”克里斯汀征求意見。他把照片發(fā)給她,向她請教戒指的款式,直到找到最完美的那一款。他與克里斯汀在一家科技初創(chuàng)公司共事,兩人共用一間辦公室,每天在一起“打配合”的時間有14個小時。庫爾茨追求瑞貝卡的整個過程中,克里斯汀一直在為他出謀劃策,包括篩選網上約會資料,編輯電子郵件,以及提供服裝建議等。

????來自洛杉磯的創(chuàng)業(yè)者庫爾茨說道:“我清楚記得,我與我妻子第一次約會的時候,是她幫我打扮著裝。她來參加我的婚禮時,我在所有人面前感謝她:‘多虧了克里斯汀,我才沒把那次約會搞砸。’。”

????初創(chuàng)公司的工作環(huán)境處于高壓,這兩位似乎很自然地就成了親密的同事??死锼雇∫呀浗Y婚,還有一個孩子,兩人從一開始就不可能發(fā)生什么“浪漫的故事”。很快,庫爾茨就開始替她取干洗的衣服,她也會幫庫爾茨去藥店買藥。

????這樣的關系讓工作充滿了樂趣,因為他們對對方的項目會更感興趣,庫爾茨回憶道。而且,兩人對工作環(huán)境達成的共識讓他們可以非常輕松的討論想法或分享建議。他說:“工作中,有人能夠理解你在說什么,這一點非常可貴。你不可能總去找愛人或女朋友,讓她們理解你對工作的想法。”

當工作與個人生活糾纏不清時

????芝加哥培訓服務公司JB Training Solutions總裁、《經理人3.0》(Manager 3.0)一書的作者布拉德?卡什表示,在許多行業(yè),“工作配偶”現象是“每周7天,每天24小時”工作模式的必然產物??ㄊ舱f:“人們會討論與工作配偶多年的關系。如果這種關系處理得當,會非常完美?!比鐞廴税阌H密的同事關系在不同職務之間需要經常配合的行業(yè)里更為常見。例如,在廣告業(yè),文案團隊與美工團隊經常數年甚至數十年一起密切合作,有時候甚至會整個團隊一起跳槽到競爭對手的公司。執(zhí)法合伙人之間也有類似的關系。寫作拍檔茱莉亞?莫斯金與吉姆?西弗森在兩人合著的烹飪圖書《廚房大戰(zhàn):2位廚師,12項挑戰(zhàn),125份食譜,一場史詩般的廚房爭奪戰(zhàn)》(CookFight: 2 Cooks, 12 Challenges, 125 Recipes, an Epic Battle for Kitchen Dominance)稱呼彼此是“工作中的愛人”。書中按時間順序記錄了考驗兩人友誼的烹飪挑戰(zhàn)。

????工作時與自己可以完全信任的比鄰而坐肯定有它的優(yōu)勢。這種親密的同事可以以一種工作之外的朋友或真正的配偶不可能有的方式,理解工作中出現的狀況和趣事。

????卡什說:“這種關系可以讓你與一個信任的人分享自己的創(chuàng)意,或者向他征求意見?!彼l(fā)現,凡是有“工作配偶”的人,在計劃跳槽去競爭對手那里之前,會再三考慮,正是因為受到這種關系的影響?!巴率橇糇T工的無名英雄?!?/p>

????When David Kurtz was browsing for engagement rings for his now-wife Rebecca, he sought advice from his "work wife" Christine, texting her photos and consulting her on styles until he found the perfect art deco number. He and Christine shared an office at a tech startup, putting in 14-hour days and working closely with each other. Christine helped Kurtz every step of the way in his courtship of Rebecca, from screening online dating profiles to editing his emails and suggesting outfits.

????"I clearly remember her getting me dressed for my first dates with my wife," says Kurtz, a Los Angeles-based entrepreneur. "When she came to my wedding, I had to thank her in front of everybody, 'Christine helped me not screw this one up.' "

????It seemed natural for the two to become close at work, in a pressure-cooker startup environment. Christine was married with a child, and romance was off the table from the beginning. Before long, Kurtz was picking up her dry cleaning, and she was grabbing his prescriptions at the pharmacy.

????The relationship made work more fun, because they were more interested in each other's projects, Kurtz recalls, and their shared understanding of the work environment made it easy to discuss ideas or share advice. "It's of great value to have someone who knows what you're talking about," he says. "You can't always turn to your spouse or girlfriend and have them understand what you mean about work."

When work and personal lives blend

????The phenomenon of a "work spouse" is a natural outgrowth of the 24-7 work culture in many industries, says Brad Karsh, president of JB Training Solutions and author of Manager 3.0. "People talk about relationships they've had for years with their work spouse. If it's managed and handled appropriately, it's perfectly fine," Karsh says.

????Spouse-like partnerships at work are more common in industries where people with different job functions need to pair up frequently. In advertising, for instance, copywriter-art director teams might work closely together for years or even decades, sometimes leaving the same company to go to a competitor as a team. Law enforcement partners experience the same kind of bond. And writing partners Julia Moskin and Kim Severson refer to each other as "work wives" in their food book CookFight: 2 Cooks, 12 Challenges, 125 Recipes, an Epic Battle for Kitchen Dominance, which chronicles a cooking challenge that tested their friendship.

????Having someone you trust completely in the cubicle next door certainly has its advantages. That sort of close colleague may understand situations and anecdotes in a way your non-work friends or actual spouse may not.

????"It allows you to share and bounce ideas off somebody you trust," says Karsh, noting that someone with a work spouse may think twice before leaving that employer for a competitor because of the power of that relationship. "Coworkers are the unsung heroes of employee retention."

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