????如果你確實(shí)不想做這件事：“感謝邀請?？峙挛易霾坏?無法接受/無法在您的委員會(huì)任職，但我非常感謝您能想到/邀請我?！?/p>

????如果對(duì)方追問原因，可以這樣說：“我只是沒辦法做這件事，但還是非常感謝?！?/p>

????如果對(duì)方繼續(xù)堅(jiān)持，可以這樣回答：“我現(xiàn)在有太多事情要做，所以沒有時(shí)間。但還是非常感謝?！?/p>

????不要說一些模棱兩可、半推半就的話，或者講一些具體的原因。你不能撒謊——而告訴對(duì)方有其他事情要做，并不是撒謊。

????如果你確實(shí)想接受邀請但卻身不由己，同時(shí)又希望留在對(duì)方的關(guān)系網(wǎng)內(nèi)，要向?qū)Ψ秸f清楚：

????“感謝您的邀請。我很想做這件事/接受這個(gè)職務(wù)/參與此事，但我現(xiàn)在確實(shí)無能為力。我希望您以后還會(huì)再次想到我?！?/p>

????誠實(shí)，簡單，直接。

????減少承諾。辭去那些不能帶來額外價(jià)值的董事會(huì)、委員會(huì)、組織職務(wù)或承諾。如果你不喜歡某件事，不能從中得到滿足感，或者它對(duì)個(gè)人生活或職業(yè)沒有任何幫助，那就不要再去做它。要保證每一項(xiàng)承諾都是有意義的，值得你付出時(shí)間。當(dāng)然，“純粹為了樂趣”也是不錯(cuò)的。

????在日程安排中保留一些空白。勇于拒絕自己不喜歡的約會(huì)、晚餐或活動(dòng)。你很清楚我說的是哪些約會(huì)。

????減少會(huì)議。對(duì)不重要的會(huì)議說“不”。你真的需要參加嗎？出席會(huì)議是否對(duì)你至關(guān)重要？將其與你的目標(biāo)和責(zé)任加以權(quán)衡。如果它對(duì)你有意義，那就去做。如果沒有，那就拒絕。只參加那些計(jì)劃充分、具有實(shí)質(zhì)內(nèi)容的會(huì)議。

????注意那些“應(yīng)該的事情”。只做自己喜歡或能夠幫助你提升技能的志愿工作。如果你感覺那只是一項(xiàng)繁瑣無趣的工作或“應(yīng)該做的事情”，那你應(yīng)該轉(zhuǎn)變工作重點(diǎn)或者干脆不再去做這件事。

????設(shè)定并堅(jiān)守你的界線。學(xué)會(huì)說“不”的一個(gè)重要部分，就是在工作和家庭中劃定自己的界線，并且要明確告知其他人。我們要讓別人知道如何對(duì)待我們才不會(huì)撞線，所以我們必須反復(fù)告知他們我們的界線。例如，如果你不想被打擾，只要說：“很抱歉，我現(xiàn)在不想討論這件事。我正在處理其他事情。下午4點(diǎn)再討論這件事如何？”如果你不想在晚上或周末工作，那就直接拒絕。讓人們知道你的工作時(shí)間，下班后就不再接聽電話，也不處理短信或電子郵件。

????你需要對(duì)其他人進(jìn)行訓(xùn)練。如果有必要，在非工作時(shí)間設(shè)定假日自動(dòng)回復(fù)或語音信箱，比如：“感謝您的來電/電子郵件。我的正常工作時(shí)間是X。如果是緊急情況，請聯(lián)系X。否則，我將在X時(shí)間上班后，給您回電話/電子郵件。”

????如果同事在晚上和周末給你打電話或聯(lián)系你，訓(xùn)練自己不接他們的電話或不回復(fù)他們的短信或電子郵件?；氐焦ぷ髦兄?，你可以說：

????“很抱歉我不能接你的電話。除非緊急情況，否則，晚上7點(diǎn)之后或周末時(shí)間我不工作?！?/p>

????為了實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo)，你必須修建一些“籬笆”，來保護(hù)自己，讓自己快速成長。這意味著要區(qū)分對(duì)自己有益的和無益的事情。對(duì)無助于實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)、會(huì)對(duì)你造成干擾或自己不喜歡的人、情況和承諾，要學(xué)會(huì)說“不”。你的行為要有目的性——學(xué)會(huì)說“不”！這個(gè)詞雖簡單卻非常強(qiáng)大，會(huì)產(chǎn)生巨大的影響。

????本文作者卡米爾?普勒斯頓是領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力培訓(xùn)公司AIM Leadership的創(chuàng)始人兼CEO。她也是電子書《重來的決心：如何讓工作更明智、讓生活更幸福，讓自己更高效》（The Rewired Resolution: Eight Ways to Work Smarter, Live Better, and be More Productive）的作者。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????If you really don’t want to do it:“Thanks for the invitation. I’m afraid I will not be able to make it/accept/serve on your committee, but I really appreciate you thinking of/including me.”

????If the person presses you for a reason, say: “I’m just not able to make it, but thanks so much.”

????If they really press, say:“I have so many other things on my plate/in the pipeline that I am simply not available. But thank you.”

????Do not offer maybes, half-steps, or specifics. And you don’t have to lie—it’s not a lie to say that there are other things on your plate or in the pipeline.

????Now, if you would actually like to accept the invitation but cannot, and you want to stay on that person’s radar, make that clear:

????“Thank you so much for the invitation. I would love to do it/serve/get involved, but I just can’t right now. I hope you will think of me again.”

????Honest, simple, straight forward.

????Simplify your commitments. Resign from boards, committees, organizations, or commitments that are not value added. If you don’t enjoy it, aren’t fulfilled by it, or it doesn’t help you personally or professionally, stop doing it. Make sure each commitment is meaningful and worth your time. And “just for fun” is A-OK in my book.

????Create white space on your calendar. Say no to those lunch dates, dinners, or events you don’t enjoy. You know exactly which ones I’m talking about.

????Minimize meetings. Say no to meetings that aren’t essential. Do you really need to go? Is it critical for you to be there? Again, weigh it against your goals and responsibilities. If it measures up meaningfully, do it. If not, don’t go. And only attend meetings where the creator has planned enough to include the agenda.

????Notice the “shoulds.” Only do volunteer work if you enjoy it or it helps burnish your skills. If it feels like a chore or a “should” change your focus or stop doing it.

????Set your boundaries, and stick to them. Part of saying no is establishing boundaries at work and at home and then being clear about them. We teach people how to treat us, so we have to re-teach them our boundaries. For example, if you do not wish to be bothered, simply say: “I’m sorry. I can’t discuss that right now. I am working on something else. How about at 4 p.m.?” If you don’t want to work in the evenings or on weekends then don’t. Let people know when you will be available, and then do not answer calls, texts, or emails during that down time.

????You need to train people. If you have to, use a vacation responder or voice mail for after hours, something like: “Thank you for your call/email. My regular work hours are X. If this is an emergency, please contact X. Otherwise, I will respond to your call/email when I return on X.”

????If colleagues call or contact you in the evenings and on weekends, train yourself not to take their calls or respond to their texts or emails. When you are back to work, you might say:

????“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your call. Unless it’s an emergency, I do not work after 7 p.m. or on weekends.”

????In order to reach your goals you have to build some fences to guard and protect yourself so you can grow. This means discriminating between the things that help you get there and the things that don’t. Learn to say no to the people, situations, and commitments that do not move you toward your goal, that distract you, or that you simply do not enjoy. Be purposeful in your actions—learn to say no! It’s a powerful little word with a huge impact.

????Camille Preston is founder and CEO of AIM Leadership. She is also author of the e-book, The Rewired Resolution: Eight Ways to Work Smarter, Live Better, and be More Productive.