不傷感情,10種拒絕別人的方式
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????本文為與《創(chuàng)業(yè)者》雜志的合作內(nèi)容。下文最初發(fā)表于Entrepreneur.com網(wǎng)站。 ????我認(rèn)識的每一位創(chuàng)業(yè)者,都說自己在一天中找不到足夠的時(shí)間去做自己想做的事情,但他們經(jīng)常會(huì)答應(yīng)新的請求?;蛟S這是因?yàn)樗麄兲焐褪菢酚^主義者,或許是因?yàn)樗麄儾辉敢庾寗e人失望,但最終的結(jié)果是,他們無法實(shí)現(xiàn)自己做出的每一個(gè)承諾,進(jìn)而損害了自己的健康、信譽(yù)和效力。 ????除了過于頻繁地說“是”之外,在壓力之下,有些創(chuàng)業(yè)者也會(huì)以非常糟糕的方式說“不”,他們可能會(huì)攻擊請求者,或是避免明確的回應(yīng)。而這兩種方式經(jīng)常是火上澆油,往往會(huì)造成負(fù)罪感或者隨后的妥協(xié)。 ????成功的創(chuàng)業(yè)者必須對自己的所有承諾負(fù)責(zé),管理對實(shí)現(xiàn)承諾的預(yù)期。筆者多年來從強(qiáng)有力的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者那里學(xué)到了下面這些經(jīng)驗(yàn),或許能幫助你在拒絕他人的時(shí)候,不會(huì)傷害當(dāng)前的商業(yè)關(guān)系或未來的機(jī)會(huì): ????1. 設(shè)定讓所有人都知曉的界限,并堅(jiān)決執(zhí)行 ????讓相關(guān)人士清楚你需要優(yōu)先解決的事情和界限。在何時(shí)有空或哪些請求可以接受等問題上,不要總是破壞你自己設(shè)定的規(guī)矩。你必須言行一致,如果你內(nèi)心想拒絕,就不要說“是”。 ????2. 先查看日程表,再給明確答復(fù) ????在給出回答之前查看一下日程安排或與其他負(fù)責(zé)人進(jìn)行溝通,是可以接受的商業(yè)行為。不要馬上同意你無法做到的事情,也不要當(dāng)場拒絕,因?yàn)檫@可能破壞雙方的關(guān)系。無論如何,務(wù)必承諾一個(gè)給出最終決定的日期或時(shí)間。 ????3. 相信你的第一直覺 ????要意識到,你的大腦和身體所記下的信息,通常比樂觀的情緒反應(yīng),或者在辛苦工作一天之后所做的負(fù)面情緒反應(yīng)更加準(zhǔn)確。在做出任何回答之前,深呼吸,清除大腦中的外部干擾,分析你的直覺反應(yīng)。 ????4. 向值得信任的同事說出兩種選擇的利弊 ????大聲說出自己的考慮,可以保證你能全面了解接受和拒絕請求的影響。接受請求將增加你的工作量,而拒絕可能讓你未來的機(jī)會(huì)變成泡影。說出自己的顧慮,也可以為你贏得緩沖時(shí)間。 |
????This story is in partnership with Entrepeneur. This post was originally published at Entrepreneur.com ????Every entrepreneur I know can’t find enough hours in a day to do the good things they want, and yet they often find themselves saying yes to new requests. Perhaps because they are optimists by nature, or they just hate to disappoint others, they end up hurting their health, credibility and effectiveness by not being able to deliver on everything they promise. ????In addition to saying yes too often, some entrepreneurs under pressure say no poorly, by attacking the requestor or by avoiding any definitive response. Either of these approaches always make a difficult situation worse, often leading to guilt or a later accommodation. ????A successful entrepreneur must be accountable for all commitments, and manage expectations to make this possible. So here are some tips I have learned over the years from strong leaders that can help you say no without damaging current business relationships or future opportunities: ????1. Establish boundaries and honor them for all to see ????Let your constituents know your priorities and limits. Don’t continually break your own rules about when you are available or what requests are acceptable. Your actions must match your words, so don’t say yes when you mean no. ????2. Ask for time to check your calendar ????It’s an acceptable business practice to review your schedule or converse with other principals before committing to an answer. Don’t respond with a quick yes that you can’t deliver, or a quick no that will ruin a relationship. In all cases, it’s important to commit to a date or time for a final yes or no. ????3. Give credence to your initial instinct ????Recognize that your brain and your body often register information that is more accurate than an optimistic emotional reaction, or a negative reaction after a long hard day. Take a deep breath, clear your mind of any external distractions, and analyze your gut reaction before providing any answer. ????4. Voice both the pros and cons to a trusted cohort ????Speaking the considerations out loud will help you make sure you understand the full implications of either a yes or a no answer. Every yes answer increases your workload, and every no answer may cut off an opportunity you need down the road. Talking it out also buys you time. |
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