性別定勢(shì)思維:女兒給父親上的一堂課
????債券行業(yè)巨擘太平洋投資管理公司(PIMCO)首席執(zhí)行官兼聯(lián)合首席投資官默罕默德?埃爾-埃利安曾對(duì)我說(shuō),他把Facebook首席運(yùn)營(yíng)官謝莉爾?桑德伯格撰寫(xiě)的《向前一步》(Lean In)中的部分內(nèi)容讀給自己10歲的女兒聽(tīng),讓我覺(jué)得他是個(gè)超前的人。他在為《財(cái)富》雜志(Fortune)網(wǎng)站撰寫(xiě)的一篇精彩文章中解釋了高管人員為什么應(yīng)該讀一讀桑德伯格的這本最暢銷(xiāo)著作。從那以后,他對(duì)職業(yè)女性的評(píng)價(jià)就接二連三地出現(xiàn)在我的收件箱里。上周,他把下面這個(gè)故事發(fā)到了我這里,故事內(nèi)容是他在自己家里對(duì)性別思維傾向問(wèn)題處理不當(dāng),以及他從這個(gè)任何聰明的父母都可能犯的錯(cuò)誤中吸取的教訓(xùn)。 ????子女剛剛開(kāi)始成長(zhǎng)時(shí),家長(zhǎng)需要保護(hù)他們不受性別思維傾向或思維定式的影響。我從來(lái)沒(méi)想過(guò)我會(huì)在這種時(shí)候掉鏈子。 ????但我錯(cuò)了。 ????雖然這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤很?。ǖ溉绱耍?,但它很重要。它讓我意識(shí)到保證機(jī)會(huì)均等仍舊是多么的困難。 ????我犯下這個(gè)失誤的過(guò)程中,有好幾次我都應(yīng)該更清晰地意識(shí)到自己正面臨著性別思維傾向所構(gòu)成的陷阱,這讓我感到特別不安。我在公司加入了包容與多元化項(xiàng)目。我參加過(guò)足夠多的學(xué)?;顒?dòng),目的就是讓我辨別那些妨礙女孩子接觸科學(xué)、技術(shù)、工程或數(shù)學(xué)學(xué)科的因素。我是國(guó)際女性研究中心(International Center for Research on Women)理事。我拜讀了謝莉爾?桑德伯格的《向前一步》(還就此寫(xiě)過(guò)文章)。此外,由于男性等于科學(xué),女性等于藝術(shù)和人文這種有害而過(guò)時(shí)的習(xí)慣思維仍然困擾著大多數(shù)人,我和我妻子一直在努力讓我們的女兒去接觸那些杰出的女性科學(xué)家。 ????考慮到上述因素,你也許認(rèn)為我可以戰(zhàn)勝挑戰(zhàn),從而為自己女兒的興趣提供支持,同時(shí)保護(hù)她不陷入性別問(wèn)題陷阱。 ????告訴大家這件事并不是因?yàn)槲覙?lè)于讓自己陷入尷尬境地,而是因?yàn)樗俅伪砻骺朔泻Φ男詣e遺留問(wèn)題有多難。 ????今年是我們10歲的女兒第二次參加為期三周的學(xué)術(shù)夏令營(yíng)。上次她選的題目是科學(xué),她很喜歡。隨后的一個(gè)學(xué)年里,她一直樂(lè)于學(xué)習(xí)數(shù)學(xué),而且成績(jī)出色。所以,當(dāng)她告訴我這次她決定選“古代文明”時(shí),我稍有些意外。請(qǐng)不要誤會(huì)。這個(gè)主題沒(méi)有任何問(wèn)題。我覺(jué)得它不僅有趣,還能開(kāi)拓眼界。此外,我在埃及度過(guò)了一段年輕時(shí)光,所以當(dāng)女兒說(shuō)選擇“古代文明”的原因之一是“想更多地了解我曾經(jīng)待過(guò)的地方”時(shí),我深受感動(dòng)。 ????但女兒的理由沒(méi)能完全說(shuō)服我。因此,在她為夏令營(yíng)做準(zhǔn)備時(shí),我不斷地追根問(wèn)底。這讓我發(fā)現(xiàn)了她選擇這個(gè)課題的另一個(gè)原因,而這個(gè)原因則不那么讓人放心。 ????原來(lái),在之前的科學(xué)課上,她是唯一的女生。女兒告訴我:“我不想再成為班上唯一的女生。”所以她選了“古代文明”,因?yàn)榘嗬锏哪信壤赡軙?huì)更平衡一些。 |
????Ever since Mohamed El-Erian, the CEO and co-CIO of bond giant PIMCO, told me that he read sections of Facebook (FB) COO Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In to his 10-year-old daughter, I pegged him as an evolved guy. El-Erian wrote a terrific piece for Fortune.com about why executives should read Sandberg's best-seller. Since then, he has peppered my in-box with comments about women in the workplace. And last week, he sent me this story. It's a confession about mishandling gender bias in his own family and learning from a mistake that any smart father or mother could make. ????I never – ever – thought that I would be one of those parents who slips up when it comes to protecting our young daughter from gender biases and stereotypes that emerge early in a child's development. ????Well, I was wrong. ????And while the blunder is (hopefully) small, it serves as an important reminder of how hard it still is to ensure equal opportunities. ????I find my misstep to be particularly disturbing because of the many chances I've had to enhance my awareness of gender bias traps. I've taken part in the Inclusion and Diversity Program at work. I've attended enough school events to recognize obstacles that discourage girls from STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) subjects. I served on the board of the International Center for Research on Women. I've read (and written about) Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In". And, because most people still fall hostage to the harmful and outmoded habit of associating "male" with science and "female" with arts and humanities, my wife and I have worked hard to expose our daughter to impressive women scientists. ????With all that, you would think that I would be up to the challenge of supporting our daughter's interests and protecting her from falling into a gender trap. ????I am not telling you this because I enjoy embarrassing myself. Rather it is because this serves as yet another example of the challenges that we all face in overcoming harmful legacy gender issues. ????This is the second summer that our 10-year old daughter has attended a three-week camp centered on an academic discipline. The first time around, she chose to focus on science and loved it. During the subsequent school year, she continued to enjoy and excel at mathematics. So I was a little surprised when she informed me that, this time around at camp she had decided to focus on "ancient civilization." ????Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with the topic. I view it as both interesting and mind-expanding. Moreover, I was so touched when she told me one reason for choosing "ancient civilization: "I want to know more about where you came from," she said to me. I had spent part of my youth in Egypt. ????Yet her reasoning did not sound totally convincing. And so, as she was getting ready for camp, I kept on pushing. And I uncovered another – less reassuring – reason for her selection. ????It turns out that she was the only girl in her previous science class. "I don't want to again be the only girl," she told me. So she opted for a subject that would have greater gender balance in the classroom. |