直到現(xiàn)在，我有時(shí)都會(huì)覺得我似乎一不小心走進(jìn)了《周六夜現(xiàn)場》的錄制外景地。就在這個(gè)情人節(jié)前的周末，我在哈德遜山谷的一座冬意盎然的農(nóng)場里待了30多個(gè)小時(shí)。我將在這里遇見一位人生導(dǎo)師，在瑜伽室里唱贊美詩，寫“感恩日記”，吃的是藜麥和甘藍(lán)，喝的是自釀的康普茶。一位有三個(gè)碩士學(xué)位的女人會(huì)告訴我，如今的世界之所以變幻莫測，是由于“大地的振動(dòng)”（顯然這種振動(dòng)正在增多）。在一頓以酸奶黃瓜沙拉和味噌菜花湯為主食的午飯上，一位與前男友在火人節(jié)上認(rèn)識(shí)的女病友十分嚴(yán)肅地告訴大家，她平時(shí)選擇哪天去理發(fā)是由月相決定的（滿月時(shí)理發(fā)頭發(fā)長得快，缺月時(shí)頭發(fā)長得慢）。大家聽罷都紛紛點(diǎn)頭，沒有人一個(gè)人表現(xiàn)得好像覺得她在說瘋話。

之所以會(huì)這樣，也是由于“分手訓(xùn)練營”中的三名老師和五位病友都是非常注重靈性的人。類似“心靈查克拉”、“情感切割”、“控制自己的能量”、“向宇宙發(fā)問”這種詞兒，在這里都成了口頭禪了。不過我認(rèn)為，大家之所以全都煞有介事地點(diǎn)頭，還因?yàn)槲覀儊泶俗钪匾娜蝿?wù)之一，就是要對(duì)“分手訓(xùn)練營”中的安排無條件地支持。我是其中唯一一個(gè)不是來治療分手后的心靈創(chuàng)傷的人。（不過訓(xùn)練營的人告訴我，我可以利用這段學(xué)習(xí)經(jīng)歷，打破我在戀愛和人生中的一些不良模式。）

At times, it will feel as if I’ve wandered into an SNL skit. Over the 30 hours that I spend on a wintery farm in Hudson Valley, New York at a breakup bootcamp—on Valentine’s Day weekend, no less—I will meet with a life coach, chant in a yoga yurt, write in a gratitude journal, and consume large amounts of quinoa, kale, and home-brewed kombucha. A woman with three master's degrees will tell me the world is such a volatile place right now because of “the earth’s vibrations” (apparently, they’re increasing). Over a lunch of cucumber yogurt salad and miso-cauliflower, a fellow attendee, who met her now ex at Burning Man, will gravely inform the group that she aligns her haircuts with the lunar cycle (a waning moon increases growth, while a waxing one reduces it.) Everyone will nod. No one will act like this is an objectively crazy statement.

In part, this is because the majority of the three teachers and five fellow attendees appear to be deeply spiritual people. Phrases such as “heart chakra,” “emotional cutting,” “take control of your energy,” and “asking the universe” are used casually. But I think everyone also nods because one of our most important jobs is to be unconditionally supportive; I am the only one here who did not come to learn how to heal after heartbreak. (I’m told I can use the experience to help break bad patterns in my relationship and life in general).

“分手訓(xùn)練人”的創(chuàng)辦人兼總策劃師艾米?陳自稱是“科學(xué)家版的凱莉?布雷蕭（美劇《欲望都市》的女主角）”。艾米?陳擁有一個(gè)溝通學(xué)的學(xué)士學(xué)位，她也是連鎖乒乓球俱樂部SpiN的營銷總監(jiān)。不過她真正熱衷的卻是研究婚姻與愛情，尤其是關(guān)于如何幫人度過失戀后的痛苦期。過去十年里，她寫了不少戀愛方面的文章，先是發(fā)表在溫哥華（她的老家）的一家報(bào)紙上，現(xiàn)在則主要通過她的博客發(fā)聲。她最常探討的話題就是分手后應(yīng)該做些什么。五年前，她曾以為會(huì)牽手一生的那個(gè)男人劈腿了一名女同事，這次意外卻讓她發(fā)現(xiàn)了她的人生的真正意義。

“我之所以生在這個(gè)世界上，就是要幫助人們治愈他們的心靈創(chuàng)傷?！庇幸淮挝覀冋云嫜挪级『脱帑溇頃r(shí)，她這樣對(duì)我說。

分手那年她29歲，她陷入日益低落的情緒中長達(dá)幾個(gè)月之外，當(dāng)時(shí)她也試過在網(wǎng)上搜一些解決方法?！拔蚁胝业绞裁礀|西來治愈我?！痹诠雀枭纤蚜艘槐橹委熐閭姆椒ㄖ螅?陳發(fā)現(xiàn)，網(wǎng)上的方法“沒有什么特別的”。后來她又試了試其它方法，比如靈氣療法、理療、心理治療等等，還到墨西哥來了一次瑜伽之旅，但效果都不是特別滿意——畢竟，治愈情傷是需要時(shí)間的。

一顆種子就這樣萌發(fā)了。2015年夏天，“在和朋友喝了一頓酒之后”，她突然冒出了一個(gè)想法：她要為那些因失戀而傷心欲絕的人搭建一個(gè)“避難所”。

一年半以后，她的創(chuàng)意演變成了現(xiàn)在的這個(gè)“周末訓(xùn)練營”。訓(xùn)練營里的每個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)都很適合拍照發(fā)朋友圈——這里的食物是有機(jī)的，擺盤也十分精美，做菜的是一位年輕精壯的大廚；在農(nóng)場外面還有四只呆萌的羊駝，仿佛剛從動(dòng)畫片里走出來似的。訓(xùn)練營里的各種活動(dòng)也很適合拍照發(fā)圈，比如瑜伽、冥想、針炙等等，此外我們還會(huì)圍著火堆坐成一圈，學(xué)習(xí)“如何拿回我們的能量”之類的東西。訓(xùn)練營里有三位老師，分別是艾米?陳、人生導(dǎo)師翠西?芭里拉斯、“正向心理顧問”諾艾米?拉?普特爾，她們會(huì)要求我們以有助于治愈的方式回首往事，用艾米?陳的話，就是“拿起劇本，翻開它”。這樣一來，一位薄情寡義的前男友就會(huì)被重新刻畫成一個(gè)可愛但殘缺的形象，他只是在情感上沒有做好與你廝守終生的準(zhǔn)備。艾米?陳繼續(xù)說道：“我不相信任何對(duì)我沒好處的東西?！?/p>

Amy Chan, the weekend’s creator and mastermind, describes herself as a “scientific Carrie Bradshaw.” Chan has a bachelor’s in communications and is the chief marketing officer of SpiN, a chain of ping pong bars backed by actress Susan Sarandon. Chan's real passion, however, is relationships—specifically, navigating the choppy waters after one has ended badly. She’s written relationship advice for the past decade, first for a daily paper in Vancouver (her hometown) and now on her blog. A common theme is what to do after a breakup. But it wasn’t until five years ago, when the man she thought she was going to marry cheated with a coworker, that she discovered her life’s true purpose.

“I know I’m on this earth to help people heal their heart wounds,” she tells me over a bowl of homemade chia pudding and granola.

Twenty-nine at the time, the breakup set her into a spiraling depression that lasted for months, despite her efforts to find a solution online: “I wanted something where I could go there and come out healed,” she remembers. After googling heartbreak retreats and finding “nothing specific,” she experimented with other options: reiki, therapists, psychics, a yoga vacation in Mexico. None were particularly satisfying —in the end, healing required time.

But a seed was planted. In the summer of 2015, over “drinks with a friend at the SoHo house,” the idea came to her: She would create a retreat designed specifically for the broken-hearted.

A year and a half later, her idea has materialized as a weekend in which every detail feels custom-made for Instagram. Meals are organic and beautifully plated, prepared by a strapping, young on-site chef. Outside the farm, four cartoonish alpacas wait to be petted. Activities are universally photogenic: yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and group talks where we sit in a circle by the fire and learn how to do things like “take back our energy.” We are urged by Chan, along with Trish Barillas, a life coach, and Noémie Le Pertel, a “positive psychology consultant,” to look at the past in ways that help us heal—to, in Chan's words, “take the script, and flip it.” In this way, a callous ex-boyfriend can be redrawn as a loving but damaged figure who wasn’t emotionally equipped to commit. “I’m not going to believe anything that doesn’t serve me,” she continues.

在這里，扭曲現(xiàn)實(shí)以滿足人的情感需求，是一個(gè)會(huì)被反復(fù)強(qiáng)化的主題。對(duì)于這里的人所說的相當(dāng)一部分的話，我甚至不知道該作何解讀。比如艾米?陳提到她的前男友們時(shí)，不但毫無恨意，反而流下了感激的淚水，因?yàn)樗麄冏屗龑W(xué)會(huì)了愛情和戀愛的真諦。她究竟是認(rèn)真的，還是只是想給她的“精神勝利法”舉個(gè)例子呢？“正向心理顧問”普特爾經(jīng)常會(huì)在她的課上提到多巴胺、應(yīng)激激素、腦觸突等科學(xué)術(shù)語，她還說就算你跟某人離得很遠(yuǎn)，你也有可能“感受到他的能量”。她究竟是在打比方，還是認(rèn)真的呢？

整個(gè)周末的經(jīng)歷讓我不時(shí)會(huì)想起最近在推特上甚火的一個(gè)熱詞——“替代事實(shí)”（Alternativefacts）——語出特朗普?qǐng)F(tuán)隊(duì)。艾米?陳對(duì)我說，她真心相信人的表現(xiàn)的力量。她認(rèn)為，如果她向宇宙要求什么東西，宇宙就會(huì)讓事物朝著這個(gè)方向發(fā)展。她六個(gè)月前才開始實(shí)踐這種療法，但現(xiàn)在她的生活已經(jīng)有了很大的不同（她表示她能得到現(xiàn)在的工作也是歸功于此。）“這種方法要比《秘密》這本書久遠(yuǎn)得多?！闭撬岬降倪@本書（以及同名電影），才讓“積極的思維可以導(dǎo)致真實(shí)世界的結(jié)果”這一理念廣為流傳。

這樣的談話經(jīng)常讓我一臉懵逼。我要再次強(qiáng)調(diào)，我并不是一個(gè)心碎的女人，而且在我內(nèi)心深處，我還是一個(gè)玩世不恭的人，對(duì)任何鼓吹能夠“治愈”的套路都抱有一絲懷疑。

整整一個(gè)周末，訓(xùn)練營都在強(qiáng)化“宇宙對(duì)我們每個(gè)人自有安排”的理念，經(jīng)過這樣一番正能量的灌輸，病友們的情緒似乎確有好轉(zhuǎn)。其中一名病友是一個(gè)非常害羞的女人，她是從洛杉磯大老遠(yuǎn)地飛過來參加訓(xùn)練營的，她尋找類似這樣能夠治愈的地方已經(jīng)有很長時(shí)間了。她是一年前與未婚夫分手的，直至今天仍然覺得心如刀割。她對(duì)我說，來這里與這些女性朋友一起，聽聽她們的故事，感覺挺好的。

The idea of taking reality and distorting it to fit one’s emotional needs is a recurrent theme. I’m not sure how to interpret a large percentage of what people are saying. When Chan tells us that instead of being mad at her exes, she cries tears of gratitude because she is so thankful for what they’ve taught her about love and relationships, is she serious, or is this another example of reframing the narrative? When Pertel, who litters her sessions with scientific references to dopamine, stress hormones, and brain synapses, tells us it's possible to “feel someone’s energy" even when they aren’t nearby, is she speaking metaphorically or literally?

Sometimes the entire weekend feels like an extended exercise in a shimmering version of #alternativefacts. Chan tells me she genuinely believes in the power of manifestation. If she asks the universe for something, she says, the universe makes it so. She started this practice a mere six months ago, and already has noticed a huge difference (it’s how she got her current job, she says). “This goes way back long before The Secret,” she says, referencing the book (and movie) that popularized the idea that positive thinking can lead to real-world results.

Talk like this usually puts me on edge. But then again, my heart isn’t broken; part of me feels cynical and a little gross questioning any tactic that encourages healing.

Because it does seem as if the weekend’s rosy cocoon of uplifting positivity, which reinforces the message that the universe has a plan for each of us—provided we open ourselves up enough to receive it—is helping. One attendee, a shy woman who flew from Los Angeles to attend, tells me she’s been looking for something like this for a long time. She broke up with her fiancé a year ago, and the heartbreak still feels raw. It’s good, she says, to be here with these women, and to hear their stories.

艾米?陳的終極目標(biāo)是將治療分手情傷當(dāng)成一項(xiàng)全職工作來做。她的這種想法也并非空中樓閣。上周末的“分手訓(xùn)練營”只是她的一次概念驗(yàn)證性質(zhì)的試驗(yàn)，但它也并不是免費(fèi)的，每名“病友”要住單間，需要繳納1500美元的費(fèi)用；雙人間稍便宜些，每張床位也要1000美元。不過還有幾個(gè)位置是免費(fèi)贈(zèng)送給朋友的。從今年五月到夏天，艾米?陳還策劃了另外兩批規(guī)模更大的“分手訓(xùn)練營”。如果時(shí)機(jī)成熟了，她可能最終還會(huì)建立自己的“情傷治療中心”，這樣一來，她每年都能教幾百人通過這種“精神勝利法”來解開心結(jié)。

我問她，如果這種“精神勝利法”修煉到一定程度，到了無法分清哪些是真的、哪些是假的的地步，豈不是很危險(xiǎn)？她表示，無論是在愛情還是在生活中，事實(shí)是很難界定的，人生最重要的其實(shí)是選擇。

“我選擇將世界看作一個(gè)美麗的地方。我選擇認(rèn)為人人都有最善良的意愿，認(rèn)為他們并不想傷害你。我選擇在每件事中看到感恩、學(xué)到經(jīng)驗(yàn)，哪怕是在那些壞的事情中?！彼f。

“你可能會(huì)說：‘艾米，你肯定是瘋了，你完全活在自己的想象中?！?dāng)然了，你可以認(rèn)為我瘋了，但你可以看看我的生活，我的生活好得難以置信，我的人生是如此豐富多彩，充滿了幸福與愛?！?

對(duì)于這一點(diǎn)，我無法反駁——雖然我也無法分辨出她說的究竟是真的，還是只不過是另一次“精神勝利法”。不過在這個(gè)周末，“分手訓(xùn)練營”的新潮、性靈和以瑜伽為核心的一系列活動(dòng)，還是給人留下了非常專業(yè)的感覺。但當(dāng)我踏上回紐約市的火車時(shí)，我還是很高興能回到這個(gè)政治氣候變幻莫測，但至少你能根據(jù)自己的工作安排（而不是月相）去理發(fā)的世界中。

我只希望能回到事實(shí)還是事實(shí)的世界中?；蛟S我應(yīng)該向宇宙要求這一點(diǎn)。 （財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

譯者：樸成奎

Chan’s ultimate goal is to help women share their stories year-round, and to turn healing heartbreak into a full-time job. She’s has a ways to go: This weekend was put together at-cost (admittance cost $1,500 for a single room, $1,000 for a double, although a few spots were comped for friends), as a proof-of-concept. Already, however, there is a larger retreat scheduled for May, and another tentatively slated for later in the summer. If everything goes as planned, she will eventually open her own retreat space where, in any given year, she can teach hundreds of people how to reframe their romantic narratives.

When I ask her if it’s dangerous to reconjure your life to the point where you can’t distinguish between what’s true and what isn’t, she says that in love—and often, life in general—facts are hard to pin down. Instead, life is about choices.

“I choose to see the world is a beautiful place. I choose that people have the best intentions and don’t want to hurt you. I choose to see the gratitude and lesson in everything, even the things that go wrong,” she says.

“You can say, ‘Well Amy, you’re just loony, you are living in your own fiction.' Well, sure! Think that I’m crazy, but look at my life. My life is unbelievable. I have such a rich abundant life full of happiness and love.”

I can’t really argue with that—even if it’s impossible to tell whether it's true, or simply another reframed narrative. And the weekend, in all it’s hipster, spiritual, yoga-centric glory, is an expertly orchestrated experience. Still, as I board the train back to New York City, I’m relieved to be returning to a world where volatility is prescribed to the political climate (not vibrations), and haircuts can be planned around one’s work schedule (not the phase of the moon).

If only I was returning to a world where facts were—well, facts. I should probably try asking the universe for that.