八年前,我辭掉了一份全職記者的工作,原因很簡單:我已經(jīng)精疲力盡。狀態(tài)非常差。在報道了接二連三的警察槍擊黑人事件后,我開始對新聞感到麻木:不過是一個新名字,一個新城市,一起新的槍擊案。我一直沒有花時間真正面對創(chuàng)傷,相反,我用工作和忙碌來應(yīng)對。我壓力很大。我很焦慮。我不開心,所以換了工作。
科技公司圣智集團(tuán)(Cengage Group)最近的一項調(diào)查顯示,職業(yè)倦怠是89%的員工離職的原因。世界衛(wèi)生組織在2019年將職業(yè)倦怠列為一種“職業(yè)現(xiàn)象”,將其定義為“因工作壓力長期未得到有效管理而引發(fā)的綜合癥”。
我發(fā)誓,要是有一天我重回新聞編輯室,一定會用不一樣的方式工作——不僅為了自己的身心健康,也為了提升工作滿足感。除了接受治療、早起鍛煉來舒緩壓力,還要在工作上設(shè)好邊界。
“所謂邊界,指的是讓你在人際關(guān)系中感到安全和舒適的做法??梢允强陬^聲明,也可以是你在人際關(guān)系中所要求和/或展示的行為,”持照心理治療師、《設(shè)定邊界,找到平靜》( Set Boundaries, Find Peace)的作者內(nèi)德拉·格洛弗·塔瓦布解釋道,“在職場中設(shè)置邊界真的非常重要,因為我們要在工作中花大量時間……理想的職場環(huán)境應(yīng)該是舒適的,令人滿意的,能給我們帶來某種程度的成就感和快樂,或者讓我們能夠照顧好自己不至于精疲力盡。”
雖然任何時候開始設(shè)定工作中的邊界都為時不晚,但如果你能在剛開始一個新角色時就定好邊界,可以給自己一個重新開始的絕好機(jī)會,可以借機(jī)換一種全新的工作模式。
“在你開啟一份全新的工作時,你可以抓住這個好機(jī)會,告訴你的上司和同事你希望怎樣被對待,如果你被這樣對待,能把工作做得最好?!盨ista Afya精神健康社區(qū)的創(chuàng)始人兼執(zhí)行董事卡梅莎·瓊斯說,“有時候,當(dāng)你進(jìn)入一個新角色時,會有一種迫切想把工作做好、想被人喜歡的焦慮,但這可能會成為你的弱點,導(dǎo)致人們因此突破自己的界限?!?/p>
為了消除這種焦慮,瓊斯建議人們要學(xué)會心安理得,要記住自己值得這個崗位,自己提供的東西已經(jīng)足夠了。
“設(shè)定現(xiàn)實的、可持續(xù)的期望值也很重要。雇主會基于你最開始的表現(xiàn)塑造對你未來的期望?!彼€說,“這就是我所說的‘稱職倫理’,即你可以在自己設(shè)定的可實現(xiàn)的預(yù)期范圍內(nèi)提供高質(zhì)量的工作表現(xiàn),取得出色業(yè)績,同時確保你的工作方式有助于你過上健康的充滿生機(jī)的生活,確保你的生活沒有被工作吞沒,而是與工作相互補充。
下面是一些得到專家背書的策略,可以幫助你建立健康的職場邊界。
明確(表達(dá))你何時有空
作為一個正在康復(fù)中的工作狂,我最出名的一點就是可以連續(xù)幾個小時“再多做一件事”?,F(xiàn)在,作為一個新手媽媽,我把接孩子作為我一天工作的硬停機(jī)時刻。每天,我做的第一件事就是在Outlook日歷和Slack上更新我的工作時間,方便同事們知道我什么時候有空開會。但是你不需要成為父母,也可以設(shè)置自己的時間邊界。
“比如說,我記得讀研究生時我在做全職工作,還在實習(xí),所以我必須要5點下班,因為5:30開始上課,所以我給自己設(shè)置了一個邊界。”格洛弗·塔瓦布說,“不管你用什么辦法來管理自己的思維,最重要的是確保自己能在某個時間點前離開那個地方。設(shè)定邊界的基礎(chǔ)其實是你在這一刻能做什么和你需要什么?!?/p>
用好科技
早在2020年,有段時間我宅在家里休了個十分亟需的假期,休假前就刪除了手機(jī)上的工作郵件,之后再也沒裝回去。后來有時我也需要在下班后查看郵件,特別是在協(xié)調(diào)跨時區(qū)采訪時,但這時我會從網(wǎng)絡(luò)瀏覽器登錄郵箱,發(fā)送郵件后立即關(guān)閉頁面。
“我曾經(jīng)有不停查閱手機(jī)郵件的強(qiáng)迫癥,所以我就把手機(jī)上的郵箱刪除了。”瓊斯說,“類似的做法可以幫助你真正擺脫工作,得到真正的休息,而不是用更多的工作填滿休息時間?!?/p>
雖然我的手機(jī)上裝有Slack,因為在四處奔走時用Slack可以很方便地收發(fā)消息,但我設(shè)置了通知提示的時間,確保我在工作時間以外不會收到消息提醒。我還非常愛用Slack上的狀態(tài)更新功能,這樣我在吃午飯或者埋頭寫作時就能讓同事們知道,他們因此能預(yù)見到我會較遲回復(fù),我也就不會有需要長時間在線的壓力。
正視你真正的能力
曾經(jīng)有一段時間,我對每件事和每個人都說“是”(說實話,在我的個人生活中,我仍然在努力解決這個問題,但這是另一個故事了)。那時我常常想,我為什么常常感到不堪重負(fù),后來意識到問題在于我自己,在于我的討好型人格。
“有時候,精疲力竭的我們會想,‘哦,天哪,他們讓我做這么多事情。”格洛弗?塔瓦布說,“但有時其實是我們自己在逼自己做這些事情。”
指控成立。
我總是希望別人喜歡我,剛開始一份新工作時尤其如此,這往往導(dǎo)致我承擔(dān)的工作太多太急?,F(xiàn)在,我在學(xué)習(xí)放慢節(jié)奏,誠實地審視自己的待辦事項清單,給項目按照優(yōu)先級做好排序,(喘口氣)尋求幫助,知道這樣做不會讓我看起來很糟糕或不稱職,而是恰恰相反,說明我在積極主動地為潛在問題尋找解決方案。
“設(shè)置邊界能幫助我們了解自己的真實能力?!备衤甯?塔瓦布表示,“它們能幫助我們呆在自己覺得舒服的范圍內(nèi),而不是把自己逼到極限。很多情況下,工作倦怠的產(chǎn)生就是因為我們把自己逼到了極限?!?/p>
為了找到你的極限所在,瓊斯建議你密切關(guān)注頭腦和身體發(fā)出的信號。
“如果出現(xiàn)職業(yè)倦怠,意味著壓力已經(jīng)持續(xù)了一段時間了,如果你已經(jīng)把自己逼到了極限,會有一些心理和生理信號?!彼f,“比如說,如果我的斜方肌開始發(fā)緊,我就知道工作有點過頭了?;蛘呷绻乙驗槌掷m(xù)工作而一整天不吃東西,那就說明我沒有照顧好自己的基本健康?!?/p>
隨著個人生活出現(xiàn)變化,我們的職業(yè)也需要做出調(diào)整。當(dāng)你在工作之外承擔(dān)了更多的責(zé)任,比如照顧孩子,你在職業(yè)生涯的某個階段原本能做到的事就不再適合現(xiàn)在了。
“你可能需要和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)同事談一談,告訴他們,‘以前我可以做到X、Y和Z,但現(xiàn)在情況發(fā)生了變化,我意識到如果繼續(xù)用以前那種方式工作,我無法真正做到最好??纯次覀円趺凑{(diào)整呢?”瓊斯說。“我們可以承認(rèn),有時候我們過去能做到的事情不符合現(xiàn)在的情況了,或者我們只是不能再以那種方式工作了,這沒什么大不了的?!?/p>
我嘗試在職場建立邊界的新實驗已經(jīng)進(jìn)行了大約一個月,到目前為止的感受是,我在一天結(jié)束時沒那么疲勞了,我有更多的精力投入到家庭和個人生活中,每天早上我重新回到筆記本電腦前時都滿懷躊躇壯志。也許這也能幫助我在個人生活中更好地設(shè)置邊界……只有時間能告訴我們答案了。(財富中文網(wǎng))
譯者:Agatha
八年前,我辭掉了一份全職記者的工作,原因很簡單:我已經(jīng)精疲力盡。狀態(tài)非常差。在報道了接二連三的警察槍擊黑人事件后,我開始對新聞感到麻木:不過是一個新名字,一個新城市,一起新的槍擊案。我一直沒有花時間真正面對創(chuàng)傷,相反,我用工作和忙碌來應(yīng)對。我壓力很大。我很焦慮。我不開心,所以換了工作。
科技公司圣智集團(tuán)(Cengage Group)最近的一項調(diào)查顯示,職業(yè)倦怠是89%的員工離職的原因。世界衛(wèi)生組織在2019年將職業(yè)倦怠列為一種“職業(yè)現(xiàn)象”,將其定義為“因工作壓力長期未得到有效管理而引發(fā)的綜合癥”。
我發(fā)誓,要是有一天我重回新聞編輯室,一定會用不一樣的方式工作——不僅為了自己的身心健康,也為了提升工作滿足感。除了接受治療、早起鍛煉來舒緩壓力,還要在工作上設(shè)好邊界。
“所謂邊界,指的是讓你在人際關(guān)系中感到安全和舒適的做法??梢允强陬^聲明,也可以是你在人際關(guān)系中所要求和/或展示的行為,”持照心理治療師、《設(shè)定邊界,找到平靜》( Set Boundaries, Find Peace)的作者內(nèi)德拉·格洛弗·塔瓦布解釋道,“在職場中設(shè)置邊界真的非常重要,因為我們要在工作中花大量時間……理想的職場環(huán)境應(yīng)該是舒適的,令人滿意的,能給我們帶來某種程度的成就感和快樂,或者讓我們能夠照顧好自己不至于精疲力盡?!?/p>
雖然任何時候開始設(shè)定工作中的邊界都為時不晚,但如果你能在剛開始一個新角色時就定好邊界,可以給自己一個重新開始的絕好機(jī)會,可以借機(jī)換一種全新的工作模式。
“在你開啟一份全新的工作時,你可以抓住這個好機(jī)會,告訴你的上司和同事你希望怎樣被對待,如果你被這樣對待,能把工作做得最好?!盨ista Afya精神健康社區(qū)的創(chuàng)始人兼執(zhí)行董事卡梅莎·瓊斯說,“有時候,當(dāng)你進(jìn)入一個新角色時,會有一種迫切想把工作做好、想被人喜歡的焦慮,但這可能會成為你的弱點,導(dǎo)致人們因此突破自己的界限。”
為了消除這種焦慮,瓊斯建議人們要學(xué)會心安理得,要記住自己值得這個崗位,自己提供的東西已經(jīng)足夠了。
“設(shè)定現(xiàn)實的、可持續(xù)的期望值也很重要。雇主會基于你最開始的表現(xiàn)塑造對你未來的期望。”她還說,“這就是我所說的‘稱職倫理’,即你可以在自己設(shè)定的可實現(xiàn)的預(yù)期范圍內(nèi)提供高質(zhì)量的工作表現(xiàn),取得出色業(yè)績,同時確保你的工作方式有助于你過上健康的充滿生機(jī)的生活,確保你的生活沒有被工作吞沒,而是與工作相互補充。
下面是一些得到專家背書的策略,可以幫助你建立健康的職場邊界。
明確(表達(dá))你何時有空
作為一個正在康復(fù)中的工作狂,我最出名的一點就是可以連續(xù)幾個小時“再多做一件事”。現(xiàn)在,作為一個新手媽媽,我把接孩子作為我一天工作的硬停機(jī)時刻。每天,我做的第一件事就是在Outlook日歷和Slack上更新我的工作時間,方便同事們知道我什么時候有空開會。但是你不需要成為父母,也可以設(shè)置自己的時間邊界。
“比如說,我記得讀研究生時我在做全職工作,還在實習(xí),所以我必須要5點下班,因為5:30開始上課,所以我給自己設(shè)置了一個邊界?!备衤甯ァに卟颊f,“不管你用什么辦法來管理自己的思維,最重要的是確保自己能在某個時間點前離開那個地方。設(shè)定邊界的基礎(chǔ)其實是你在這一刻能做什么和你需要什么?!?/p>
用好科技
早在2020年,有段時間我宅在家里休了個十分亟需的假期,休假前就刪除了手機(jī)上的工作郵件,之后再也沒裝回去。后來有時我也需要在下班后查看郵件,特別是在協(xié)調(diào)跨時區(qū)采訪時,但這時我會從網(wǎng)絡(luò)瀏覽器登錄郵箱,發(fā)送郵件后立即關(guān)閉頁面。
“我曾經(jīng)有不停查閱手機(jī)郵件的強(qiáng)迫癥,所以我就把手機(jī)上的郵箱刪除了?!杯偹拐f,“類似的做法可以幫助你真正擺脫工作,得到真正的休息,而不是用更多的工作填滿休息時間?!?/p>
雖然我的手機(jī)上裝有Slack,因為在四處奔走時用Slack可以很方便地收發(fā)消息,但我設(shè)置了通知提示的時間,確保我在工作時間以外不會收到消息提醒。我還非常愛用Slack上的狀態(tài)更新功能,這樣我在吃午飯或者埋頭寫作時就能讓同事們知道,他們因此能預(yù)見到我會較遲回復(fù),我也就不會有需要長時間在線的壓力。
正視你真正的能力
曾經(jīng)有一段時間,我對每件事和每個人都說“是”(說實話,在我的個人生活中,我仍然在努力解決這個問題,但這是另一個故事了)。那時我常常想,我為什么常常感到不堪重負(fù),后來意識到問題在于我自己,在于我的討好型人格。
“有時候,精疲力竭的我們會想,‘哦,天哪,他們讓我做這么多事情。”格洛弗?塔瓦布說,“但有時其實是我們自己在逼自己做這些事情。”
指控成立。
我總是希望別人喜歡我,剛開始一份新工作時尤其如此,這往往導(dǎo)致我承擔(dān)的工作太多太急。現(xiàn)在,我在學(xué)習(xí)放慢節(jié)奏,誠實地審視自己的待辦事項清單,給項目按照優(yōu)先級做好排序,(喘口氣)尋求幫助,知道這樣做不會讓我看起來很糟糕或不稱職,而是恰恰相反,說明我在積極主動地為潛在問題尋找解決方案。
“設(shè)置邊界能幫助我們了解自己的真實能力?!备衤甯?塔瓦布表示,“它們能幫助我們呆在自己覺得舒服的范圍內(nèi),而不是把自己逼到極限。很多情況下,工作倦怠的產(chǎn)生就是因為我們把自己逼到了極限。”
為了找到你的極限所在,瓊斯建議你密切關(guān)注頭腦和身體發(fā)出的信號。
“如果出現(xiàn)職業(yè)倦怠,意味著壓力已經(jīng)持續(xù)了一段時間了,如果你已經(jīng)把自己逼到了極限,會有一些心理和生理信號?!彼f,“比如說,如果我的斜方肌開始發(fā)緊,我就知道工作有點過頭了。或者如果我因為持續(xù)工作而一整天不吃東西,那就說明我沒有照顧好自己的基本健康?!?/p>
隨著個人生活出現(xiàn)變化,我們的職業(yè)也需要做出調(diào)整。當(dāng)你在工作之外承擔(dān)了更多的責(zé)任,比如照顧孩子,你在職業(yè)生涯的某個階段原本能做到的事就不再適合現(xiàn)在了。
“你可能需要和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)同事談一談,告訴他們,‘以前我可以做到X、Y和Z,但現(xiàn)在情況發(fā)生了變化,我意識到如果繼續(xù)用以前那種方式工作,我無法真正做到最好??纯次覀円趺凑{(diào)整呢?”瓊斯說?!拔覀兛梢猿姓J(rèn),有時候我們過去能做到的事情不符合現(xiàn)在的情況了,或者我們只是不能再以那種方式工作了,這沒什么大不了的。”
我嘗試在職場建立邊界的新實驗已經(jīng)進(jìn)行了大約一個月,到目前為止的感受是,我在一天結(jié)束時沒那么疲勞了,我有更多的精力投入到家庭和個人生活中,每天早上我重新回到筆記本電腦前時都滿懷躊躇壯志。也許這也能幫助我在個人生活中更好地設(shè)置邊界……只有時間能告訴我們答案了。(財富中文網(wǎng))
譯者:Agatha
Eight years ago, I left full-time journalism for one simple reason: I was burned-out. Bad. After covering back-to-back police shootings of Black people, I was starting to feel desensitized to the news: another name, another city, another shooting. I never took time to fully process the trauma that was happening, and instead found myself using work/busyness as a coping mechanism. I was stressed. I was anxious. I was unhappy, so I switched careers.
According to a recent survey from tech firm Cengage Group, 89% of workers have left jobs because of burnout, which was classified as an “occupational phenomenon” by the World Health Organization in 2019 and is defined as a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”
I vowed that if I ever returned to a newsroom, I would do things differently—not only for my well-being, but for personal job satisfaction. So in addition to therapy and morning workouts to relieve stress, I knew I needed to implement better boundaries in the workplace as well.
“Boundaries are practices that make you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. They can be verbal statements or they can be behaviors that you’re requesting and/or demonstrating in your relationships,” explains Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed therapist and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace. “In the workplace, boundaries are really important because that is where we spend a significant portion of time…and hopefully these environments can be comfortable, satisfying, and bring us some level of fulfillment, pleasure, or ability to take care of ourselves without burning out.”
While it’s never too late to implement boundaries at work, doing so at the onset of a new role is an excellent opportunity to give yourself a fresh start and do things a bit differently than you’ve done before.
“When you start a brand-new job, that is your opportunity to teach your supervisors and your coworkers how you need to be treated and how you can do your best work if you’re treated this way,” says Camesha Jones, founder and executive director of Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness. “Sometimes when you start a new position, there’s this anxiety of wanting to do well and be liked, but that can cause a vulnerability where people will go above and beyond their limits because of that.”
To combat that anxiety, Jones encourages people to remember to take comfort in knowing they deserve to be in the space and what they bring to the table is sufficient.
“It’s also important for you to set realistic expectations that you can sustain over time. How you perform in the beginning can set the stage for an employer of what to expect from you in the future,” she continues. “You can have what I would call a ‘well worth ethic’ where you can provide quality work and perform well within the bounds of those realistic expectations you set; in addition to working in ways that promote a healthy, thriving lifestyle that is not consumed by work, but rather complements it.”
The following expert-backed strategies can help you set healthy boundaries at work.
Identify (and communicate) your availability
As a recovering workaholic, I’ve been known to do “just one more thing” for hours on end. Now, as a new mom, I’ve implemented day-care pickup as my hard stop for the day. One of the first things I did was update my working hours on my Outlook calendar and Slack to easily let colleagues know when I’m available for meetings. But you don’t need to be a parent to set boundaries around your time.
“In one instance, I remember working full-time while going to grad school and having an internship so it was very important I left at five o’clock because class was at 5:30, so I had a built-in boundary,” shares Glover Tawwab. “Whatever it is you need to trick yourself into thinking, make it a priority to leave that space by a certain time. The boundary is really based on what you’re able to do and what you need in this moment.”
Use technology to your advantage
Back in 2020, I deleted my work email from my phone before a much-needed staycation and never looked back. Occasionally I’ll need to check for messages after hours, especially when coordinating interviews for stories across time zones, but in those instances I’ll access my inbox from a web browser, send the message, and immediately close out of it.
“I used to be a compulsive email checker with Gmail, so I just took it off my phone,” says Jones. “Things like that can help you disconnect from work, as well as taking actual breaks and not filling them up by doing more work.”
While I have the Slack app installed on my phone because it makes it easier to check and send messages on the go, I’ve set a notification schedule so I don’t get messages outside working hours. I’m also a big fan of using the status update on Slack to let colleagues know when I’m taking lunch or deep in the zone writing, so they can anticipate a delayed response and I don’t feel pressure to be on all the time.
Honor your true capacity
There was a time when I said yes to everything and everyone (and truthfully, I’m still working on that in my personal life, but that’s another story for a different day). I’d often wonder why I was feeling so overwhelmed and realized I only had myself and my people-pleasing tendencies to blame.
“Sometimes with burnout we think, ‘Oh my gosh, they’re making me do all of this stuff,’” says Glover Tawwab. “But sometimes it’s us making us do all of this stuff.”
Guilty as charged.
My desire to be well-liked, especially when starting a new job, leads me to take on too much too fast. These days I’m learning to slow my roll, take an honest look at my to-do list and (gasp) ask for help when it comes to prioritizing projects knowing that doing so won’t make me look bad or incompetent, but rather the opposite—I’m taking the initiative and being proactive around finding solutions to potential issues.
“Boundaries help us to know what our true capacity is,” says Glover Tawwab. “They really help us stay well within what’s comfortable for us instead of pushing ourselves to the total limit. When we think about work and burnout, a lot of it happens because we’ve pushed ourselves all the way to the limit.”
In order to find your limit, Jones suggests paying close attention to what your mind and body are telling you.
“When it comes to burnout it is prolonged stress over a period of time, but there are mental and physical indicators that you’ve pushed yourself to the limit,” she says. “For example, if I start to feel a tightness in my trap muscles, I know I’m working a little bit too hard. Or if I’m not eating throughout the day because I’m working consistently, that’s an indicator that I’m not taking care of my basic wellness.”
As our lives change, so do our workplace needs. What may have served you at one stage in your career may not serve you well as you take on more responsibilities outside of work, such as caregiving.
“You may need to have a conversation with your supervisor or colleagues and say, ‘There was a time when I was able to do X, Y, and Z, but now things have changed, and I’ve realized I can’t really be my best while working in that way. What does it look like for us to adjust this?’” Jones says. “It’s okay to acknowledge that sometimes the things we were able to do no longer serve us, or that we just can’t work in that way anymore.”
We’re roughly a month in to my new experiment with workplace boundaries, but so far I’ve noticed I’m not as fatigued at the end of the day, I have more energy to pour into my family and my personal projects, and I return to my laptop in the mornings with a renewed sense of ambition and determination. Perhaps this will help me set better boundaries in my personal life…only time will tell.