怎樣學會觀察和傾聽？可以跟你的寵物狗學學
Bob Vetere
2016-11-27
以我的狗為例。它看到你的那一刻，就會給你全部的關(guān)注，留意你的肢體語言和面部表情。它會領(lǐng)會你說的每個字，頭歪著，耳朵向后貼，仿佛你是世界上最重要的人。如果你像我一樣，就會覺得這讓你立刻變得更加平靜、更加專注、更加感激。 不幸的是，在當今世界，人們越來越匆忙，壓力越來越大，很難再從同類那里獲得這種全心全意的關(guān)注了。你上一次停下手頭的工作，專心聽員工或同事說話，而沒有看手機、開小差或打斷，是什么時候的事情了？ 我對此感到內(nèi)疚。我成為非營利組織美國寵物產(chǎn)品協(xié)會（American Pet Products Association, APPA）的董事長后，花了一些時間來適應這里的文化。我來自一家為了盈利的公司，工作氛圍與這里截然不同。 早些時候，一個高級經(jīng)理來找我，討論她遇到的問題：我們一個較大的會員與保險供應商之間出現(xiàn)了問題。還沒等她說完，我就建議她告訴公司，保險問題不由我們負責解決。而我沒有理解的，也是非營利機構(gòu)常出現(xiàn)的情況是，出問題的保險公司是我們推薦和認可的。沒有意識到這一點，我就把我的經(jīng)理和會員公司逼到了墻角。 她又找了我?guī)状?，尋求更有建設(shè)性的建議，但我從來不聽。之后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)她的表現(xiàn)和行為明顯有了變化。終于，我發(fā)現(xiàn)她正在積極尋找其他工作。直到那時，我才意識到盡管見過她很多次，我仍然不理解她為何這么沮喪。所以，我請她和我再談一次。這一次，我不再說話，而是專心傾聽。她花了一些時間才安下心來敞開話匣子，不過她終究還是說了。我們一起尋找解決方案，并與保險供應商會面，處理公司關(guān)注的問題。 她仍然留在我們的團隊，并升到了主管的崗位上。 在我的職業(yè)生涯，乃至人生的許多時候，勸導都是重要的技巧。作為美國寵物產(chǎn)品協(xié)會的董事長和總裁，我的工作職責之一就是接觸寵物行業(yè)的各個領(lǐng)袖，組成聯(lián)盟，支持和促進寵物的飼養(yǎng)與關(guān)愛。這意味著我要與許多實力強大、經(jīng)營過自己公司、有著自己管理風格的高管們共事。我的任務(wù)就是讓所有這些人聯(lián)合起來，共同為某些議題努力，例如反對幼犬濫育，或是讓飼主意識到飼養(yǎng)寵物有益身心健康。 但是勸導意味著傾聽。我發(fā)現(xiàn)，當與新的群體合作時，發(fā)號施令沒有什么作用。相反，我從自己的金毛獵犬那里學到了一點：聽聽他們有什么想說的。 這聽起來很簡單，因為這本來就很簡單。總而言之，我做的只是聽從我的寵物狗的指引。（財富中文網(wǎng)） 譯者：嚴匡正 | Take my dog, for example. The moment he sees you he gives you his full attention, zeroing in on your body language and facial expressions. He takes in every word you say, his head tilted and ears back as if you’re the most important person in the world.If you’re anything like me, this immediately makes you feel calmer, more focused, and appreciated. Unfortunately in today’s world, which seems to grow more hurried and stressful every year, we rarely receive this kind of undivided attention from our human peers. When was the last time you stopped and truly listened — without checking your phone, zoning out, or interrupting — to what an employee or coworker had to say? I’ve been guilty of this. When I became chief executive of the not-for-profit American Pet Products Association (APPA), it took me awhile to adjust to the culture. I was coming from a for-profit company, where the work environment was very different. Early on, a senior manager met with me to discuss a problem she was having: one of our larger members was having a problem with their insurance supplier. Before she had finished explaining, I advised her to tell the company its insurance issue wasn’t ours to solve. What I failed to understand is that, as is often the case with not-for-profits, the insurance company in question was one we had recommended and endorsed. Without realizing it, I was backing my manager into a corner with the member company. She approached me a few additional times for more constructive feedback, but I never really listened. After that I noticed a definite change in her performance and behavior. Eventually I discovered she was actively looking for another job. Only then did I stop to consider that despite meeting with her on multiple occasions, I still didn’t understand why she was so frustrated. And so I had her sit down with me one more time. But this time instead of talking, I listened attentively. It took a few moments before she felt comfortable enough to open up, but, eventually, she did. Together, we worked on a solution, eventually meeting with the insurance vendor to address the company’s concerns. She is still part of the team here and, in fact, has moved to an executive position. In many parts of my professional life– and life in general — persuasion is important. As chief executive and president of the APPA, part of my job entails reaching out to leaders across the pet industry so we can form a coalition that supports and promotes pet ownership and care. This means I work with a lot of powerful executives who are used to running their own organizations, and have their own management styles. My job is to get all these people to work together on projects from opposing puppy mills, to raising awareness of the health benefits owners reap from having a pet. But persuasion means listening. I’ve learned that when working with a new group of people, swooping in with orders and demands rarely works. Instead, I take a page from my golden retriever’s book: I start by listening to what they have to say. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. At the end of the day, all I’m doing is following my dog’s lead. |
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