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透視領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力是一個(gè)在線社區(qū)，美國最睿智、最有影響力的商界領(lǐng)袖會在這里及時(shí)回答一些與職業(yè)和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力有關(guān)的問題。今天的問題是，“你如何解決一段辦公室積怨？”回答者是Issuu公司CEO喬·海爾金。

大約十年前，我在一家資金實(shí)力雄厚的知名初創(chuàng)公司擔(dān)任銷售副總裁，正致力于實(shí)施一項(xiàng)似乎很復(fù)雜，但頗具創(chuàng)新性的游戲類廣告。當(dāng)管理團(tuán)隊(duì)聚在一起商討此事時(shí)，我們都同意提步向前，但我對前進(jìn)的步伐不太滿意。于是，我私下里與負(fù)責(zé)實(shí)施的工程師磋商，并說服他嘗試一個(gè)更快，更具風(fēng)險(xiǎn)性的解決方案。

交談結(jié)束后，我急匆匆地沖向電梯，以便趕上飛往紐約的航班。就在這時(shí)候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)工程副總裁邁著重重的腳步，跟在我身后。他怒目而視，顯然很生氣。只花了大約三分鐘，他就聽聞我與工程師的談話。我們咆哮如雷，相互吼叫。下電梯途中，人們都聽到了我倆的吼聲。這不是我們第一次吵架。多年來，我們兩人經(jīng)常輪流著挑起爭端。

這場沖突進(jìn)一步加劇了我們之間的緊張關(guān)系。問題是，作為這家公司的重要成員，我們兩人都背負(fù)著至關(guān)重要的使命。事實(shí)上，CEO當(dāng)初聘請我們，正是為了給公司團(tuán)隊(duì)增添專業(yè)知識和成熟度。

雖然我向工程師建議的解決方案可能是有效的，但我完全忽視了首先需要跟其上司討論這個(gè)選項(xiàng)的重要性。倉促之下，我錯(cuò)失了說服他認(rèn)同該計(jì)劃的機(jī)會。我認(rèn)為他不會聽取，也不認(rèn)為我能夠足夠有效地陳述我的理由。

結(jié)果發(fā)生了幾件事。我背著副總裁直接找他的下屬磋商，由此削弱了我自己的效力。我也讓那位工程師陷入風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。此外，副總裁和我都向公司表明，這兩個(gè)“成年人”現(xiàn)在表現(xiàn)得很不成熟，不能協(xié)同工作。隨著人們開始竊竊私語，這種不耐煩和不信任彼此想法的表現(xiàn)所產(chǎn)生的反響，迅速波及整個(gè)公司。

當(dāng)我從紐約之行返回時(shí)，副總裁和我決定，為了公司的利益，我們最好把事情搞清楚。我們同意下班后共進(jìn)晚餐。一開始的氣氛很緊張。同事們一直在辦公室戲虐地談?wù)撝u票來看我們的好戲。然而，這場討論讓我們都認(rèn)識到，我們?nèi)绱祟l繁地公開爭吵的原因之一是，我們都覺得對方可以忍受。原來不是這樣的。

隨著交談的深入，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)我們都認(rèn)為公司需要做出相同的改變。一直以來，我們并沒有花費(fèi)時(shí)間去耐心地實(shí)施這些變化，只是專注于我們認(rèn)為對方做錯(cuò)的事情，進(jìn)而導(dǎo)致本該啟動的變革停滯不前。到晚餐結(jié)束時(shí)，我們終于達(dá)成共識，并同意不再向?qū)Ψ桨l(fā)泄自己的沮喪心情。相反，我們將共同努力，推動公司前進(jìn)。至關(guān)重要的是，其他同事都認(rèn)為我們有能力解決分歧。

十年后，我們?nèi)匀皇怯H密的朋友。

這段經(jīng)歷教導(dǎo)我，如果你對一位同事的工作感到沮喪，務(wù)必要留心觀察一下，相較于表面的分歧，你們是否真的有更多的相似之處。我還發(fā)現(xiàn)，有實(shí)力和有經(jīng)驗(yàn)的人經(jīng)常懶洋洋地互相攻擊，因?yàn)檫@樣做似乎比協(xié)作評估當(dāng)前情勢，并實(shí)施漸進(jìn)（有時(shí)特別緩慢）的調(diào)整更容易一些。

如果同事之間爆發(fā)激烈的分歧，務(wù)必要確定這些爭執(zhí)背后的基本信念。這經(jīng)常是跨越分歧的起點(diǎn)。也許最重要的是，最好是在遠(yuǎn)離辦公室的餐桌上化干戈為玉帛。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

作者：Joe Hyrkin

譯者：Kevin

The Leadership Insiders network is an online community where the most thoughtful and influential people in business contribute answers to timely questions about careers and leadership. Today’s answer to the question, “How do you resolve an office feud?” is written by Joe Hyrkin, CEO of Issuu.

As the vice president of sales at a well-known and well-financed startup about a decade ago, I was working on implementing some innovative gaming-related advertising that seemed to be complicated. When the management team discussed it, we all agreed to move forward, but I wasn’t happy with our pace. So I sat down myself with the engineer who would be responsible for implementation and convinced him to try a faster, riskier solution.

Following our meeting I rushed to the elevator so I could catch a flight to New York, and spotted our vice president of engineering stomping after me, glaring and clearly angry. It had taken about three minutes for him to get wind of that discussion. We snarled and yelled at each other. People heard us on the way down. It wasn’t the first time the two of us had argued. Over the years, we would often alternate starting an argument with each other.

That interaction only added to the tension between the two of us. The problem was that we were both critical to the success of the company. In fact, the CEO had hired us to add expertise and maturity to the team.

While my suggested solution to the engineer may have actually been an effective one, I completely ignored the importance of actually first needing to discuss this option with his boss. In my rush, I missed the opportunity to convince him of my plan. I assumed he wouldn’t listen and didn’t think I’d be able to make my case effectively enough.

Several things happened as a result. I undermined my own effectiveness by going behind the vice president’s back. I also put the engineer involved at risk. In addition, the vice president and I both made it clear to the company that these two “adults” were now behaving immaturely and weren’t working well together. The repercussions of impatience and not trusting in each other’s ideas trickled down to the whole company, as people began to gossip.

When I returned from my trip to New York, the vice president and I decided that we had better figure things out for the good of the company. We agreed to meet for dinner one evening after work. The beginning was tense. People in the office had been talking about selling tickets to watch us. However, during our discussion, we both recognized that part of the reason we were arguing with each other so often and so publicly is that we had a sense that the other person could absorb it. It turned out that wasn’t the case.

As we talked, we found that we both saw the need for the same changes in the company. Rather than take the time and patience necessary to implement these changes, we short-circuited it all by just focusing on what we thought each other was doing wrong. By the end of the dinner, we found common ground and agreed to stop taking our frustrations out on each other. Instead, we’d work together to move the company forward. It was essential that the rest of our colleagues saw we were able to work through our disagreements.

Ten years later, we are still close friends.

I learned from this experience that if you’re frustrated with a colleague at work, it’s important to see if you actually have more similarities than differences with them. I also learned that strong and experienced people often lazily attack each other because it can seem easier than collaboratively evaluating a situation and making incremental and sometimes slower adjustments.

If colleagues find themselves in passionate disagreement, it is critical to identify the foundational beliefs behind those passions. Oftentimes that is the starting point to move past differences. And perhaps most importantly, it’s best to do all of this over a good meal away from the office.