有些人活著是為了工作。他們積極進取、踏實肯干,做著耍詭計騙錢的勾當(dāng)。他們對你朝九晚五的生活方式嗤之以鼻,他們不明白為什么有人會被“安靜辭職”所吸引。
還有一些人工作只是為了過上Instagram編造的生活。他們領(lǐng)取薪水后去里斯本、巴黎或馬德里,在那里,他們用自己辛辛苦苦賺來的錢購買體驗,拍照留念,然后在社交媒體上狂發(fā)圖片。
但達爾·拉貝奇是新新人類的一員,他們只是為了生活而生活。
在過去的兩年時間里,生活發(fā)生了很大的變化,許多人開始擁抱所謂的“軟生活”——摒棄傳統(tǒng)的朝九晚五的工作方式和在生活這個倉鼠滾輪上忙得團團轉(zhuǎn)所帶來的掙扎、壓力和焦慮。相反,過軟生活就是讓自己沉浸在快樂中,并優(yōu)先考慮豐富的經(jīng)歷。
在新冠疫情期間,拉貝奇處在十字路口,并決定是時候做出重大改變了。2021年春天,他在紐約市做營銷工作,被解雇后,他去了墨西哥。他的年收入在10萬美元到15萬美元之間,但他感到壓力很大,失望透頂,厭倦了為自己以外的事情而活。
拉貝奇對《財富》雜志表示:“這簡直就是‘去他*的!’”
他周二丟了工作,周三訂了機票,到了周末的時候,他已經(jīng)坐在墨西哥瓦哈卡州的海灘上了。他需要休息一下,喘口氣。
拉貝奇說:“當(dāng)我在那里的時候,我意識到我真的能夠以一種可持續(xù)的方式做到這一點?!弊鍪裁??在海灘上,嬉戲,享受生活?!拔乙庾R到:‘哇,我不需要待在紐約?!艺娴膬A向于這樣一種想法:如果我需要這樣的生活,我就會想辦法的?!?/p>
現(xiàn)年31歲的拉貝奇如今在紐約和墨西哥兩地奔波。在這兩個城市,他每個月不用花超過1,000美元的房租就可以做到這一點。在墨西哥時,他主要通過愛彼迎(Airbnb)租房,他在布魯克林與室友合租一間公寓。
當(dāng)他選擇將注意力從工作上轉(zhuǎn)移時,他留出了一些積蓄。當(dāng)他失去工作時,他收到了一筆遣散費,盡管他說這筆錢微不足道。拉貝奇說他不擔(dān)心錢,他承認(rèn)他現(xiàn)在能夠以這種方式生活是幸運的,因為他選擇資本主義生活方式這么久了。
“錢來了又去,當(dāng)我需要錢時,我可以預(yù)定項目、工作等等,所以我不會讓它給我?guī)韷毫??!崩惼嬲f。自2020年失業(yè)以來,他開始了自由職業(yè)生涯,從事市場營銷和戰(zhàn)略咨詢?!百嶅X的方式有很多,我相信自己多年來在商業(yè)、戰(zhàn)略、娛樂、服務(wù)、旅行等方面獲得的技能足夠多樣化,從而能夠?qū)崿F(xiàn)這一目標(biāo)。”
背離傳統(tǒng)意義上的成功的轉(zhuǎn)變
紐約大學(xué)的社會學(xué)教授迪爾德麗·羅伊斯特說,在追求軟生活之前,你需要和自己進行一次“存在主義的對話”。新冠疫情加快了許多這樣的對話,但甚至在封城之前,人們的生活和價值觀就已經(jīng)發(fā)生了變化。
羅伊斯特指出,“美好的美國生活”和“美國夢”的劇本已經(jīng)完全顛覆了。它不再只是四口之家在郊區(qū)定居,擁有整潔的房子和白色的尖樁籬柵。羅伊斯特本人是紐約大學(xué)的終身教授,她在新冠疫情期間心血來潮,追求自己對室內(nèi)設(shè)計的興趣。她申請了普瑞特藝術(shù)學(xué)院(Pratt Institute),并獲得了部分獎學(xué)金。
“在20世紀(jì)80年代,人們問:‘我們?nèi)绾螌崿F(xiàn)最大化?’但現(xiàn)在人們開始問:‘要想過上可持續(xù)的生活,最少需要多少錢?’我喜歡這個想法?!绷_伊斯特說。
當(dāng)拉貝奇從倦怠和追求職業(yè)生涯成功中恢復(fù)過來時,他在墨西哥最初幾個月的經(jīng)歷讓他明白了幾件事情:“我再也不會因為錢的問題而不去旅行、不訂機票、不嘗試美食了……需要錢不會影響我對生活的需求?!彼f。
他和許多美國人一樣,這場新冠疫情擾亂了他們原有的生活。這場世界性悲劇帶來的集體創(chuàng)傷讓一些人踩了剎車,開始了滑行,并意識到在他們的生活中,也許有比他們?yōu)樽约菏欠褡銐蚱疵ぷ鞫械綁毫Ω匾氖虑椤?/p>
“安靜辭職”——當(dāng)下互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上最受歡迎的職場術(shù)語——它的遠(yuǎn)親“躺平”和“軟生活”都已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了,這表明在美國,人們對傳統(tǒng)意義上的成功的預(yù)期發(fā)生了轉(zhuǎn)變。過軟生活并不一定意味著你沒有工作,它只是意味著你的工作不是你的全部。
拉貝奇說,對他自己而言,接受軟生活意味著成為堅定的反資本主義者。當(dāng)他搬到墨西哥城時,他參與了當(dāng)?shù)氐幕ブM織。他說,在與當(dāng)?shù)厣鐓^(qū)的聯(lián)系中,他逐漸了解到,“很多黑人搬到墨西哥城,卻沒有意識到我們是縉紳者。”
隨著世界各地因為新冠疫情而實施軟封城,人們正在尋找新的方式回歸生活,墨西哥城已經(jīng)成為一些美國人的避風(fēng)港,他們尋求改變,同時充分利用可以在任何地方進行遠(yuǎn)程工作的優(yōu)勢。美國有線電視新聞網(wǎng)(CNN)最近報道,墨西哥政府記錄顯示,2022年1月至5月,有超過530萬美國人飛往墨西哥機場。這比2019年同期增加了近100萬。
拉貝奇觀察了周圍所有從美國、加拿大、英國、巴西等國來到墨西哥的人,并著手組建一個新社區(qū),匯聚所有志同道合的人。他和他的朋友兼室友雷文·羅德里格斯為黑人和棕色人種的外籍人士和移民舉辦晚宴。他幫助擴大抗議活動,讓當(dāng)?shù)爻珜?dǎo)婦女權(quán)利的活動人士發(fā)聲。即便這只是他的小社區(qū),他也想確保他們能夠參與進來。
軟生活的興起
今年早些時候,“軟生活”一詞在黑人女性中掀起了熱潮。在YouTube視頻博客圈里,關(guān)于建議、生活方式技巧和女性氣質(zhì)的產(chǎn)業(yè)充斥著諸如“如何過上最好的軟生活”、“如何讓自己更好地過上軟生活”和“關(guān)于‘軟’生活的真相”等視頻?!八羞@些都是針對黑人女性的。
“我覺得我已經(jīng)步入了軟生活時代?!辈┲骺继啬帷み_尼拉·博阿滕在一段視頻中談到了自己為過上軟生活而付出的努力。“我真的在放慢腳步,把自我價值或生產(chǎn)力從這些關(guān)于壓力和掙扎的想法中分離出來。”
但許多博主描繪了非常奢華的“軟生活”畫面:更像是索菲亞·科波拉·瑪麗·安托瓦妮特時代的版本。
博阿滕在視頻中說:“網(wǎng)上描述的軟生活,通??雌饋砗苌莩蓿窃谡嬲叵硎苌?。然而,過軟生活是有現(xiàn)實背景的,現(xiàn)實世界中的每個人都需要面對這種現(xiàn)實,比如,你需要工作,你需要賺錢。生活并不總是美好的。”
朋友和家人經(jīng)常問拉貝奇,他如何負(fù)擔(dān)得起這樣的生活。他又沒有什么儲備金來支撐他的生活。他采取了“賺10美元花20美元”的方法,他說,這種方法對他很有效。他住在墨西哥時會接受預(yù)約拍廣告——去年他在美國國家橄欖球聯(lián)盟(NFL)比賽期間在FanDuel廣告中露面,他甚至還有一句臺詞——這讓他在從事自己喜歡的工作的同時,獲得了一些額外收入。他可以在沙灘上放松,甚至在看臺上看美國公開賽(U.S. Open)時從事自由職業(yè)。
“我沒有任何遺憾?!彼f?!耙苍S我會回去(做全職工作),此時我能夠做到?jīng)]有任何遺憾的唯一方法是因為我知道做全職工作對我意味著什么。我知道我不做全職工作是因為我必須……現(xiàn)在有了規(guī)定和界限,我可以過上我想要的生活。”(財富中文網(wǎng))
譯者:中慧言-王芳
有些人活著是為了工作。他們積極進取、踏實肯干,做著耍詭計騙錢的勾當(dāng)。他們對你朝九晚五的生活方式嗤之以鼻,他們不明白為什么有人會被“安靜辭職”所吸引。
還有一些人工作只是為了過上Instagram編造的生活。他們領(lǐng)取薪水后去里斯本、巴黎或馬德里,在那里,他們用自己辛辛苦苦賺來的錢購買體驗,拍照留念,然后在社交媒體上狂發(fā)圖片。
但達爾·拉貝奇是新新人類的一員,他們只是為了生活而生活。
在過去的兩年時間里,生活發(fā)生了很大的變化,許多人開始擁抱所謂的“軟生活”——摒棄傳統(tǒng)的朝九晚五的工作方式和在生活這個倉鼠滾輪上忙得團團轉(zhuǎn)所帶來的掙扎、壓力和焦慮。相反,過軟生活就是讓自己沉浸在快樂中,并優(yōu)先考慮豐富的經(jīng)歷。
在新冠疫情期間,拉貝奇處在十字路口,并決定是時候做出重大改變了。2021年春天,他在紐約市做營銷工作,被解雇后,他去了墨西哥。他的年收入在10萬美元到15萬美元之間,但他感到壓力很大,失望透頂,厭倦了為自己以外的事情而活。
拉貝奇對《財富》雜志表示:“這簡直就是‘去他*的!’”
他周二丟了工作,周三訂了機票,到了周末的時候,他已經(jīng)坐在墨西哥瓦哈卡州的海灘上了。他需要休息一下,喘口氣。
拉貝奇說:“當(dāng)我在那里的時候,我意識到我真的能夠以一種可持續(xù)的方式做到這一點?!弊鍪裁??在海灘上,嬉戲,享受生活?!拔乙庾R到:‘哇,我不需要待在紐約?!艺娴膬A向于這樣一種想法:如果我需要這樣的生活,我就會想辦法的?!?/p>
現(xiàn)年31歲的拉貝奇如今在紐約和墨西哥兩地奔波。在這兩個城市,他每個月不用花超過1,000美元的房租就可以做到這一點。在墨西哥時,他主要通過愛彼迎(Airbnb)租房,他在布魯克林與室友合租一間公寓。
當(dāng)他選擇將注意力從工作上轉(zhuǎn)移時,他留出了一些積蓄。當(dāng)他失去工作時,他收到了一筆遣散費,盡管他說這筆錢微不足道。拉貝奇說他不擔(dān)心錢,他承認(rèn)他現(xiàn)在能夠以這種方式生活是幸運的,因為他選擇資本主義生活方式這么久了。
“錢來了又去,當(dāng)我需要錢時,我可以預(yù)定項目、工作等等,所以我不會讓它給我?guī)韷毫??!崩惼嬲f。自2020年失業(yè)以來,他開始了自由職業(yè)生涯,從事市場營銷和戰(zhàn)略咨詢?!百嶅X的方式有很多,我相信自己多年來在商業(yè)、戰(zhàn)略、娛樂、服務(wù)、旅行等方面獲得的技能足夠多樣化,從而能夠?qū)崿F(xiàn)這一目標(biāo)?!?/p>
背離傳統(tǒng)意義上的成功的轉(zhuǎn)變
紐約大學(xué)的社會學(xué)教授迪爾德麗·羅伊斯特說,在追求軟生活之前,你需要和自己進行一次“存在主義的對話”。新冠疫情加快了許多這樣的對話,但甚至在封城之前,人們的生活和價值觀就已經(jīng)發(fā)生了變化。
羅伊斯特指出,“美好的美國生活”和“美國夢”的劇本已經(jīng)完全顛覆了。它不再只是四口之家在郊區(qū)定居,擁有整潔的房子和白色的尖樁籬柵。羅伊斯特本人是紐約大學(xué)的終身教授,她在新冠疫情期間心血來潮,追求自己對室內(nèi)設(shè)計的興趣。她申請了普瑞特藝術(shù)學(xué)院(Pratt Institute),并獲得了部分獎學(xué)金。
“在20世紀(jì)80年代,人們問:‘我們?nèi)绾螌崿F(xiàn)最大化?’但現(xiàn)在人們開始問:‘要想過上可持續(xù)的生活,最少需要多少錢?’我喜歡這個想法?!绷_伊斯特說。
當(dāng)拉貝奇從倦怠和追求職業(yè)生涯成功中恢復(fù)過來時,他在墨西哥最初幾個月的經(jīng)歷讓他明白了幾件事情:“我再也不會因為錢的問題而不去旅行、不訂機票、不嘗試美食了……需要錢不會影響我對生活的需求?!彼f。
他和許多美國人一樣,這場新冠疫情擾亂了他們原有的生活。這場世界性悲劇帶來的集體創(chuàng)傷讓一些人踩了剎車,開始了滑行,并意識到在他們的生活中,也許有比他們?yōu)樽约菏欠褡銐蚱疵ぷ鞫械綁毫Ω匾氖虑椤?/p>
“安靜辭職”——當(dāng)下互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上最受歡迎的職場術(shù)語——它的遠(yuǎn)親“躺平”和“軟生活”都已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了,這表明在美國,人們對傳統(tǒng)意義上的成功的預(yù)期發(fā)生了轉(zhuǎn)變。過軟生活并不一定意味著你沒有工作,它只是意味著你的工作不是你的全部。
拉貝奇說,對他自己而言,接受軟生活意味著成為堅定的反資本主義者。當(dāng)他搬到墨西哥城時,他參與了當(dāng)?shù)氐幕ブM織。他說,在與當(dāng)?shù)厣鐓^(qū)的聯(lián)系中,他逐漸了解到,“很多黑人搬到墨西哥城,卻沒有意識到我們是縉紳者。”
隨著世界各地因為新冠疫情而實施軟封城,人們正在尋找新的方式回歸生活,墨西哥城已經(jīng)成為一些美國人的避風(fēng)港,他們尋求改變,同時充分利用可以在任何地方進行遠(yuǎn)程工作的優(yōu)勢。美國有線電視新聞網(wǎng)(CNN)最近報道,墨西哥政府記錄顯示,2022年1月至5月,有超過530萬美國人飛往墨西哥機場。這比2019年同期增加了近100萬。
拉貝奇觀察了周圍所有從美國、加拿大、英國、巴西等國來到墨西哥的人,并著手組建一個新社區(qū),匯聚所有志同道合的人。他和他的朋友兼室友雷文·羅德里格斯為黑人和棕色人種的外籍人士和移民舉辦晚宴。他幫助擴大抗議活動,讓當(dāng)?shù)爻珜?dǎo)婦女權(quán)利的活動人士發(fā)聲。即便這只是他的小社區(qū),他也想確保他們能夠參與進來。
軟生活的興起
今年早些時候,“軟生活”一詞在黑人女性中掀起了熱潮。在YouTube視頻博客圈里,關(guān)于建議、生活方式技巧和女性氣質(zhì)的產(chǎn)業(yè)充斥著諸如“如何過上最好的軟生活”、“如何讓自己更好地過上軟生活”和“關(guān)于‘軟’生活的真相”等視頻?!八羞@些都是針對黑人女性的。
“我覺得我已經(jīng)步入了軟生活時代?!辈┲骺继啬帷み_尼拉·博阿滕在一段視頻中談到了自己為過上軟生活而付出的努力?!拔艺娴脑诜怕_步,把自我價值或生產(chǎn)力從這些關(guān)于壓力和掙扎的想法中分離出來?!?/p>
但許多博主描繪了非常奢華的“軟生活”畫面:更像是索菲亞·科波拉·瑪麗·安托瓦妮特時代的版本。
博阿滕在視頻中說:“網(wǎng)上描述的軟生活,通??雌饋砗苌莩蓿窃谡嬲叵硎苌?。然而,過軟生活是有現(xiàn)實背景的,現(xiàn)實世界中的每個人都需要面對這種現(xiàn)實,比如,你需要工作,你需要賺錢。生活并不總是美好的?!?/p>
朋友和家人經(jīng)常問拉貝奇,他如何負(fù)擔(dān)得起這樣的生活。他又沒有什么儲備金來支撐他的生活。他采取了“賺10美元花20美元”的方法,他說,這種方法對他很有效。他住在墨西哥時會接受預(yù)約拍廣告——去年他在美國國家橄欖球聯(lián)盟(NFL)比賽期間在FanDuel廣告中露面,他甚至還有一句臺詞——這讓他在從事自己喜歡的工作的同時,獲得了一些額外收入。他可以在沙灘上放松,甚至在看臺上看美國公開賽(U.S. Open)時從事自由職業(yè)。
“我沒有任何遺憾?!彼f?!耙苍S我會回去(做全職工作),此時我能夠做到?jīng)]有任何遺憾的唯一方法是因為我知道做全職工作對我意味著什么。我知道我不做全職工作是因為我必須……現(xiàn)在有了規(guī)定和界限,我可以過上我想要的生活。”(財富中文網(wǎng))
譯者:中慧言-王芳
There are some people who live to work. They relish being a hustler, grinding it out. They chortle at your nine-to-five regimen, and they can’t understand why anyone would be attracted to “quiet quitting.”
Then there are those who work only to live the life Instagram fabricates. They collect their paycheck and take it to Lisbon or Paris or Madrid, where they flood social media with images of all the experiences their hard-earned cash bought them.
But Dar LaBeach is part of a new ilk, who are out here just living to live.
Life has changed a lot in the last two years, and many people are embracing a so-called soft life—a rejection of the struggle, stress, and anxiety that come with working a traditional nine-to-five career and spinning away your days on life’s hamster wheel. Instead, living the soft life is about throwing yourself into joy, and prioritizing the richness of experiences.
In the midst of the pandemic, LaBeach was at a crossroads and decided it was time to make a dramatic change. After being laid off from his marketing job in New York City in spring 2021, he went to Mexico. He had been earning between $100,000 and $150,000 a year but was stressed, disenchanted, and tired of living for something other than himself.
“It was very much, ‘F- all this,'” LaBeach tells Fortune.
He lost his job on a Tuesday, booked a flight on Wednesday, and by the end of the week he was sitting on a beach in Oaxaca, Mexico. He needed a break, to breathe.
“It was while I was there that I realized I can really do this in a sustainable way,” LaBeach says. Do what? Be on a beach, frolic, just live. “I realized, ‘Wow, I don’t need to be in New York.’ I really leaned into the idea that if I need it, I’ll figure it out.”
LaBeach, 31, splits his time between New York and Mexico nowadays. He’s able to do so without spending more than $1,000 a month for rent in either city. When in Mexico he primarily rents places via Airbnb, and he shares an apartment with a roommate in Brooklyn.
He had some savings set aside when he opted to shift his focus away from work, and he received a severance package when he lost his job, though he says it was pretty insignificant. LaBeach says he doesn’t worry about money, and he admits that he’s only fortunate enough to live this way now because he opted in to capitalism for so long.
“Money comes and money goes, and when I need money, I’m able to book projects, work, et cetera, so I don’t let it stress me,” LaBeach says. Since losing his job in 2020, he’s developed a sort of work-at-will freelance career doing marketing and strategy consulting. “There are plenty of ways to make money, and I give myself credit for developing a diverse enough set of skills over the years in business, strategy, entertainment, service, travel, and more to make that happen.”
A shift away from traditional success
It takes having “an existential conversation” with yourself before reaching the point of pursuing a soft life, says New York University sociology professor Deirdre Royster. The pandemic fast-tracked a lot of those conversations, but life and what people value was shifting even before everything shut down.
The script for a “good American life,” for “the American Dream,” has been completely flipped, Royster says. No longer is it simply a family of four settling down in the suburbs with the tidy home and a white picket fence. Royster herself, a tenured professor at NYU, found herself pursuing a whim during the pandemic to follow her passion for interior design. She applied to the Pratt Institute and was granted a partial scholarship.
“In the ’80s people asked ‘How do we maximize?’ But now people are asking, ‘What’s the minimal amount I need to live a sustainable life?’ I love that idea,” Royster says.
LeBeach’s experience in those first months in Mexico, while he recovered from burnout and a life in service to his career, made a few things very clear to him: “Never again would I not take the trip, book the flight, eat the thing, because of money…Needing money is not going to interrupt my need to live life,” he says.
He’s like many Americans who used the pandemic as an opportunity to disrupt their lives. The collective trauma of this worldwide tragedy allowed some to pump the brakes, turn into the skid, and realize that perhaps there was something more important in their lives than the stressing over whether they were living for their job hard enough.
“Quiet quitting”—the internet’s favorite workforce term of the moment—its distant cousin, “l(fā)ying flat,” and “soft life” have all popped up as symptoms of a shift away from the traditional expectations of what it looks like to be successful in America. Living a soft life doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have a job, it just means your job is not your whole world.
For LaBeach, embracing the soft life has meant becoming a staunch anticapitalist, he says. When he moved to Mexico City, he got involved in local mutual aid. He says in connecting with his community there, he’s come to understand that “a lot of Black people are moving to Mexico City without realizing we’re gentrifiers.”
As the world initiates the pandemic’s soft closing, and people are finding new ways to return to life, Mexico City has become a haven for some Americans looking for a change while they take full advantage of the work-from-anywhere era. The Mexican government recorded more than 5.3 million Americans flying into Mexican airports from January to May 2022, CNN recently reported. That’s nearly a million more than the same period in 2019.
LaBeach looked around at all the people coming to Mexico from the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Brazil, and so on, and set out to form a new community of like-minded people. He and his friend and roommate Raven Rodriguez hosted dinners for Black and brown expats and immigrants. He helped to amplify protests and the voices of local activists advocating for women’s rights. Even if it was just his small community, he wanted to be sure they were getting involved.
The rise of the soft life
The term “soft life” really picked up some steam among Black women earlier this year. The cottage industry of advice, lifestyle hacks, and femininity within the YouTube vlogosphere is littered with videos like “How to live your best soft life,” “How I created a softer life for myself,” and “The?truth?about the ‘soft’ life.”?All are geared toward Black women.
“I feel like I’ve stepped into my era of living a soft life,” creator Courtney Daniella Boateng says in a video about the hard work that goes into living a soft life. “I’ve really invested in slowing down and detaching my self-worth or my productivity from these ideas of high levels of stress and just struggle.”
But many of these creators are painting a very opulent picture of the #softlife: more a Sofia Coppola Marie Antoinette-era version.
“Soft life, in the way that it’s portrayed online, can often look like luxury and true levels of enjoyment,” says Boateng in the video. “However, there is a reality to living a soft life, which everyone in the real world needs to be exposed to, such as, you need to work, you need to make money. Life is not always roses.”
Friends and family often ask LaBeach how he affords to live the way he is. It’s not like he has a nest egg funding his life. He’s taken a “$10 in; $20 out” approach, he says, and it works for him. He’s booked commercials while living in Mexico—last year he appeared in a commercial FanDuel run during NFL games, and he even has a line—and that provides some extra income doing work he enjoys. He does his freelance while chilling on the beach, or even sitting in the stands at the U.S. Open.
“I have zero regrets,” he says. “Maybe I’ll go back [to a full-time job], and the only way I could at this point is because I know what it means to me to be in that space. I know I’m not there because I have to be… There are now stipulations and boundaries in place that allow me to live the life I want to live.”