先舉辦婚禮還是先買房?美國情侶也有同樣的苦惱
艾米麗和布拉克斯頓是一對20出頭的情侶,對于買房還是舉辦婚禮,他們一時拿不定主意。布拉克斯頓想買房,他不想與愛人分開生活。目前,他們各自跟父母住在自己家里。
在認真對比買房和舉辦婚禮儀式的各項細節(jié)之后,這對新人最終決定花3萬美元舉辦婚禮。他們?nèi)匀缓透改缸≡谝黄稹?/font>
奈飛(Netflix)新推出的真人秀節(jié)目《舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房?》(Marriage or Mortgage)共邀請了10對情侶,艾米莉和布拉克斯頓是其中的一對,婚禮策劃人莎拉?米勒與房地產(chǎn)經(jīng)紀人尼科爾?霍姆斯展開角逐——在花3萬美元舉辦婚禮還是買房之間,看看情侶們最終會如何選擇?
該節(jié)目提出了一個很受關(guān)注,同時也令人生畏的問題:你會用你的數(shù)萬美元積蓄買一棟婚后居住的房子,還是用它來舉辦只能持續(xù)一天的婚禮呢?
霍姆斯在接受《財富》(Fortune)采訪時說:“如果一對情侶有能力同時承擔舉辦婚禮和買房的費用,完全可以兩者兼顧。但這10對情侶并非都是此種情況。他們時常為錢苦惱?!?/font>
該節(jié)目的策劃方案很出色,節(jié)目組在納什維爾及周邊地區(qū)邀請了幾對討人喜歡的情侶參加節(jié)目。他們中有年長的,有年輕的,有混血兒,也有同性戀。這些情侶看起來都很快樂,但他們在各自的關(guān)系中也存在一些問題。另外,拍攝外景地選在納什維爾,這個地區(qū)本身也存在一些問題:隨著科技和醫(yī)療行業(yè)的發(fā)展,納什維爾的婚禮市場蓬勃發(fā)展,人口持續(xù)增長,中間房價也在不斷上漲。
節(jié)目組給每對情侶的預(yù)算都一樣:3萬美元。The Knot提供的數(shù)據(jù)顯示,新冠疫情前,在美國舉辦一場婚禮平均花費28,000美元左右,這還不包括婚戒或蜜月費用。人們一般在20多歲就會結(jié)婚,對于大多數(shù)人來說,這筆錢是一筆不小的開銷。相比之下,Zillow提供的美國平均住房估值不到27萬美元。如果首付10%按揭買房,購房者需先付款27,000美元。對于可能在30多歲時才能攢下這筆錢的情侶來說,舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房是無法回避的一個沖突。
如果經(jīng)濟條件允許,可以選擇買房。這確實是一項投資,因為選擇買房的這對情侶將會積累財富,在出售房屋時會得到投資回報。而租房則會讓錢進入一個你無法收回的黑洞。但讓每個人都做出理性的財務(wù)決定是不切合實際的。我們是人,我們也會做出情緒化的購買決定。再加上來自社會的壓力,會促使準新娘傾向于選擇舉辦一場“盛大的婚禮”,讓自己感覺像公主一樣。無論是在奈飛真人秀節(jié)目中還是在現(xiàn)實生活中,我們都能看到情侶們的這種傾向。
米勒說:“婚禮是承諾的象征,在我們開啟下一段人生之前,還有其他更好的方式來實現(xiàn)這一點嗎?我很尊重傳統(tǒng)習(xí)俗,大多數(shù)年輕情侶們可能已經(jīng)忘記了父輩和祖輩們的信仰??紤]其他事情之前,還是先讓彼此的愛緊密相連吧?!?/font>
節(jié)目并未呈現(xiàn)每個決定是多么的錯綜復(fù)雜,尤其是婚禮儀式和賓客招待事務(wù)中的細節(jié)?;槎Y主題似乎只側(cè)重于三個關(guān)鍵部分,這難免讓觀眾懷疑他們是否考慮過大家關(guān)注的其他方面,如攝影師、鮮花、調(diào)酒師,甚至是著裝。
婚禮策劃完全基于兩個錯誤的假設(shè),這兩個假設(shè)使很多沒有參加節(jié)目的情侶備受困擾:一是結(jié)婚就得舉辦婚禮;二是婚禮是一種投資。首先,即使是沒有大量賓客的盛大婚禮儀式,也照樣能結(jié)婚。在大多數(shù)州,領(lǐng)取結(jié)婚證差不多只要25美元,剩下的29,975美元則可以作為買房首付。和大多數(shù)人認為的并不一樣,先領(lǐng)結(jié)婚證,以后再舉辦婚禮,這種情況更加普遍。也就是說,任何一對情侶都可以先領(lǐng)證,然后買房子,將來再舉辦婚禮。
在你的朋友和家人面前做出婚姻承諾是很重要的,米勒不斷提醒情侶們,婚禮可不僅僅只是一場聚會。她可能會試圖用直升機巡游和定制禮服吸引賓客們來參加婚禮,但她的本意其實是讓那些相信這對情侶彼此相愛的人們出席現(xiàn)場。
盡管人們常把婚禮稱為投資,但這種說法并不恰當?;槎Y可以給人留下美好的回憶,確實有情感價值,但這不是投資。正如霍姆斯所說,“放生斑鳩或乘馬車去看夕陽這種浪漫的事不可能賺到錢?!弊冑u婚禮儀式上的用品所得,根本不及你當初買它們時所花費的錢,更不可能增值,但房子可以。例如,據(jù)點對點轉(zhuǎn)售市場的Tradesy提供的數(shù)據(jù)顯示,即使你在網(wǎng)上出售婚紗,所得也僅有其零售價的一半左右。但大多數(shù)房子,尤其是在像納什維爾這樣處于經(jīng)濟增長的地區(qū),投資一套房產(chǎn),你會因為升值而賺錢,至少也能保值。
在情侶們決定舉辦婚禮還是買房之前,米勒和霍姆斯都在想方設(shè)法說服他們,比如供貨商折扣和免費贈品等,這種事在鏡頭外究竟發(fā)生了多少次,我們不得而知;畢竟,想讓觀眾看到多少,是奈飛的自由。其中的大多數(shù)情侶很可能只能通過這些折扣交易才能花3萬美元舉辦一場夢幻婚禮。
他們的要求看起來與雜志和社交媒體上的婚禮內(nèi)容并無二致;但據(jù)知情人士透露,大多數(shù)婚禮的費用可能高達六位數(shù)甚至更高。如果新娘有10萬美元婚禮預(yù)算,那么一件價值6,000美元的婚紗可能只是九牛一毛。但如果預(yù)算只有其20%,還要宴請150名賓客,情況就完全不同了。同樣,霍姆斯設(shè)法讓房主為昂貴的Smeg家電準備預(yù)算。僅一臺入門級冰箱就要2,000美元。如果這些是真的,我都想跟她合作了。
該節(jié)目的收益與奈飛推出的另一個婚禮系列真人秀節(jié)目《大日子》( The Big Day)形成了鮮明對比。參加《大日子》的是來自印度的情侶們、他們的婚禮策劃人以及數(shù)千名嘉賓,幾天之內(nèi)就舉辦了多場活動,有時甚至在不同的國家舉辦了兩場婚禮?!洞笕兆印饭踩閭H們面對的挑戰(zhàn)是,如何在不同的宗教或傳統(tǒng)背景下走到一起,有兩對情侶完全取消了傳統(tǒng)的印度教婚禮儀式。但對這些情侶來說,錢不是問題,他們的父母已經(jīng)為他們積蓄多年,完全有能力舉辦盛大的婚禮。
《大日子》確實匯聚了一場最完美的夢幻婚禮的全部亮點:豪華的裝飾,人潮擁擠的舞池,從世界各地飛來的朋友,以及不惜一切舉辦一場夢幻婚禮的家人。一位新娘的父母一年前就種了幾十株芥菜,讓婚禮看起來就像一部非常受歡迎的印度電影《勇奪芳心》(Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge)里的場景。還有一家聘請了兩位寶萊塢明星在婚禮儀式入口處客串出場。另一位新娘和她未來的小姑子與著名設(shè)計師高拉夫?古普塔在他的新德里工作室合影。誰來買單?當然是新郎的父母,他們還送給新娘一條搭配禮服的珍珠鉆石項鏈。
在上述兩檔節(jié)目中,多數(shù)情侶想要表達的一個想法是:無論有沒有錢,他們都“值得”擁有一場夢幻婚禮。新人們大多有這種權(quán)利感,這就引發(fā)了一個問題:這種電視娛樂節(jié)目對思考自己未來的人有什么影響?這就像是人們對婚禮、婚姻、理財知識和自有住房的一種長久誤解。這會讓人想起整個婚禮貸款行業(yè)中的那些房貸小作坊,像Upstart這樣的公司,推銷他們?yōu)榛槎Y提供的貸款(利率有時很高),而Maroo則提出幫助情侶用分期預(yù)付等方法,為舉辦婚禮提供資助。
米勒說:“我所處的行業(yè)并不是為了讓情侶們破產(chǎn)或負債,”世界各地的婚禮策劃人都是如此。聘請婚禮策劃人的好處很多,其中一個是為婚禮安排進行指導(dǎo),尤其是在費用方面?!耙朴谝?guī)劃,虛心聽取意見。你會驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)你居然能負擔得起某項費用,”她補充道。
幸運的是,參加《舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房?》真人秀節(jié)目的購房者和婚禮策劃人的人數(shù)幾乎各占一半。事實上,有一對情侶證明了你真的可以擁有一切:丹尼斯和尼古拉斯選擇買房,幾個月后,鏡頭變成了霍姆斯和米勒帶著喬遷禮物來拜訪。在他們的新家向節(jié)目主持人祝酒之前,尼古拉斯有意無意地說出“妻子”,丹尼斯則戴著婚戒。通過攝影師抓拍的鏡頭,我們看到這對夫婦穿著奢華的服裝,住在他們夢寐以求的房子里。(財富中文網(wǎng))
翻譯:郝秀
審校:汪皓
艾米麗和布拉克斯頓是一對20出頭的情侶,對于買房還是舉辦婚禮,他們一時拿不定主意。布拉克斯頓想買房,他不想與愛人分開生活。目前,他們各自跟父母住在自己家里。
在認真對比買房和舉辦婚禮儀式的各項細節(jié)之后,這對新人最終決定花3萬美元舉辦婚禮。他們?nèi)匀缓透改缸≡谝黄稹?/font>
奈飛(Netflix)新推出的真人秀節(jié)目《舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房?》(Marriage or Mortgage)共邀請了10對情侶,艾米莉和布拉克斯頓是其中的一對,婚禮策劃人莎拉?米勒與房地產(chǎn)經(jīng)紀人尼科爾?霍姆斯展開角逐——在花3萬美元舉辦婚禮還是買房之間,看看情侶們最終會如何選擇?
該節(jié)目提出了一個很受關(guān)注,同時也令人生畏的問題:你會用你的數(shù)萬美元積蓄買一棟婚后居住的房子,還是用它來舉辦只能持續(xù)一天的婚禮呢?
霍姆斯在接受《財富》(Fortune)采訪時說:“如果一對情侶有能力同時承擔舉辦婚禮和買房的費用,完全可以兩者兼顧。但這10對情侶并非都是此種情況。他們時常為錢苦惱?!?/font>
該節(jié)目的策劃方案很出色,節(jié)目組在納什維爾及周邊地區(qū)邀請了幾對討人喜歡的情侶參加節(jié)目。他們中有年長的,有年輕的,有混血兒,也有同性戀。這些情侶看起來都很快樂,但他們在各自的關(guān)系中也存在一些問題。另外,拍攝外景地選在納什維爾,這個地區(qū)本身也存在一些問題:隨著科技和醫(yī)療行業(yè)的發(fā)展,納什維爾的婚禮市場蓬勃發(fā)展,人口持續(xù)增長,中間房價也在不斷上漲。
節(jié)目組給每對情侶的預(yù)算都一樣:3萬美元。The Knot提供的數(shù)據(jù)顯示,新冠疫情前,在美國舉辦一場婚禮平均花費28,000美元左右,這還不包括婚戒或蜜月費用。人們一般在20多歲就會結(jié)婚,對于大多數(shù)人來說,這筆錢是一筆不小的開銷。相比之下,Zillow提供的美國平均住房估值不到27萬美元。如果首付10%按揭買房,購房者需先付款27,000美元。對于可能在30多歲時才能攢下這筆錢的情侶來說,舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房是無法回避的一個沖突。
如果經(jīng)濟條件允許,可以選擇買房。這確實是一項投資,因為選擇買房的這對情侶將會積累財富,在出售房屋時會得到投資回報。而租房則會讓錢進入一個你無法收回的黑洞。但讓每個人都做出理性的財務(wù)決定是不切合實際的。我們是人,我們也會做出情緒化的購買決定。再加上來自社會的壓力,會促使準新娘傾向于選擇舉辦一場“盛大的婚禮”,讓自己感覺像公主一樣。無論是在奈飛真人秀節(jié)目中還是在現(xiàn)實生活中,我們都能看到情侶們的這種傾向。
米勒說:“婚禮是承諾的象征,在我們開啟下一段人生之前,還有其他更好的方式來實現(xiàn)這一點嗎?我很尊重傳統(tǒng)習(xí)俗,大多數(shù)年輕情侶們可能已經(jīng)忘記了父輩和祖輩們的信仰??紤]其他事情之前,還是先讓彼此的愛緊密相連吧?!?/font>
節(jié)目并未呈現(xiàn)每個決定是多么的錯綜復(fù)雜,尤其是婚禮儀式和賓客招待事務(wù)中的細節(jié)?;槎Y主題似乎只側(cè)重于三個關(guān)鍵部分,這難免讓觀眾懷疑他們是否考慮過大家關(guān)注的其他方面,如攝影師、鮮花、調(diào)酒師,甚至是著裝。
婚禮策劃完全基于兩個錯誤的假設(shè),這兩個假設(shè)使很多沒有參加節(jié)目的情侶備受困擾:一是結(jié)婚就得舉辦婚禮;二是婚禮是一種投資。首先,即使是沒有大量賓客的盛大婚禮儀式,也照樣能結(jié)婚。在大多數(shù)州,領(lǐng)取結(jié)婚證差不多只要25美元,剩下的29,975美元則可以作為買房首付。和大多數(shù)人認為的并不一樣,先領(lǐng)結(jié)婚證,以后再舉辦婚禮,這種情況更加普遍。也就是說,任何一對情侶都可以先領(lǐng)證,然后買房子,將來再舉辦婚禮。
在你的朋友和家人面前做出婚姻承諾是很重要的,米勒不斷提醒情侶們,婚禮可不僅僅只是一場聚會。她可能會試圖用直升機巡游和定制禮服吸引賓客們來參加婚禮,但她的本意其實是讓那些相信這對情侶彼此相愛的人們出席現(xiàn)場。
盡管人們常把婚禮稱為投資,但這種說法并不恰當。婚禮可以給人留下美好的回憶,確實有情感價值,但這不是投資。正如霍姆斯所說,“放生斑鳩或乘馬車去看夕陽這種浪漫的事不可能賺到錢?!弊冑u婚禮儀式上的用品所得,根本不及你當初買它們時所花費的錢,更不可能增值,但房子可以。例如,據(jù)點對點轉(zhuǎn)售市場的Tradesy提供的數(shù)據(jù)顯示,即使你在網(wǎng)上出售婚紗,所得也僅有其零售價的一半左右。但大多數(shù)房子,尤其是在像納什維爾這樣處于經(jīng)濟增長的地區(qū),投資一套房產(chǎn),你會因為升值而賺錢,至少也能保值。
在情侶們決定舉辦婚禮還是買房之前,米勒和霍姆斯都在想方設(shè)法說服他們,比如供貨商折扣和免費贈品等,這種事在鏡頭外究竟發(fā)生了多少次,我們不得而知;畢竟,想讓觀眾看到多少,是奈飛的自由。其中的大多數(shù)情侶很可能只能通過這些折扣交易才能花3萬美元舉辦一場夢幻婚禮。
他們的要求看起來與雜志和社交媒體上的婚禮內(nèi)容并無二致;但據(jù)知情人士透露,大多數(shù)婚禮的費用可能高達六位數(shù)甚至更高。如果新娘有10萬美元婚禮預(yù)算,那么一件價值6,000美元的婚紗可能只是九牛一毛。但如果預(yù)算只有其20%,還要宴請150名賓客,情況就完全不同了。同樣,霍姆斯設(shè)法讓房主為昂貴的Smeg家電準備預(yù)算。僅一臺入門級冰箱就要2,000美元。如果這些是真的,我都想跟她合作了。
該節(jié)目的收益與奈飛推出的另一個婚禮系列真人秀節(jié)目《大日子》( The Big Day)形成了鮮明對比。參加《大日子》的是來自印度的情侶們、他們的婚禮策劃人以及數(shù)千名嘉賓,幾天之內(nèi)就舉辦了多場活動,有時甚至在不同的國家舉辦了兩場婚禮?!洞笕兆印饭踩閭H們面對的挑戰(zhàn)是,如何在不同的宗教或傳統(tǒng)背景下走到一起,有兩對情侶完全取消了傳統(tǒng)的印度教婚禮儀式。但對這些情侶來說,錢不是問題,他們的父母已經(jīng)為他們積蓄多年,完全有能力舉辦盛大的婚禮。
《大日子》確實匯聚了一場最完美的夢幻婚禮的全部亮點:豪華的裝飾,人潮擁擠的舞池,從世界各地飛來的朋友,以及不惜一切舉辦一場夢幻婚禮的家人。一位新娘的父母一年前就種了幾十株芥菜,讓婚禮看起來就像一部非常受歡迎的印度電影《勇奪芳心》(Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge)里的場景。還有一家聘請了兩位寶萊塢明星在婚禮儀式入口處客串出場。另一位新娘和她未來的小姑子與著名設(shè)計師高拉夫?古普塔在他的新德里工作室合影。誰來買單?當然是新郎的父母,他們還送給新娘一條搭配禮服的珍珠鉆石項鏈。
在上述兩檔節(jié)目中,多數(shù)情侶想要表達的一個想法是:無論有沒有錢,他們都“值得”擁有一場夢幻婚禮。新人們大多有這種權(quán)利感,這就引發(fā)了一個問題:這種電視娛樂節(jié)目對思考自己未來的人有什么影響?這就像是人們對婚禮、婚姻、理財知識和自有住房的一種長久誤解。這會讓人想起整個婚禮貸款行業(yè)中的那些房貸小作坊,像Upstart這樣的公司,推銷他們?yōu)榛槎Y提供的貸款(利率有時很高),而Maroo則提出幫助情侶用分期預(yù)付等方法,為舉辦婚禮提供資助。
米勒說:“我所處的行業(yè)并不是為了讓情侶們破產(chǎn)或負債,”世界各地的婚禮策劃人都是如此。聘請婚禮策劃人的好處很多,其中一個是為婚禮安排進行指導(dǎo),尤其是在費用方面?!耙朴谝?guī)劃,虛心聽取意見。你會驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)你居然能負擔得起某項費用,”她補充道。
幸運的是,參加《舉辦婚禮還是按揭買房?》真人秀節(jié)目的購房者和婚禮策劃人的人數(shù)幾乎各占一半。事實上,有一對情侶證明了你真的可以擁有一切:丹尼斯和尼古拉斯選擇買房,幾個月后,鏡頭變成了霍姆斯和米勒帶著喬遷禮物來拜訪。在他們的新家向節(jié)目主持人祝酒之前,尼古拉斯有意無意地說出“妻子”,丹尼斯則戴著婚戒。通過攝影師抓拍的鏡頭,我們看到這對夫婦穿著奢華的服裝,住在他們夢寐以求的房子里。(財富中文網(wǎng))
翻譯:郝秀
審校:汪皓
Emily and Braxton are a couple in their early twenties grappling with the decision of whether to buy a house together or throw a wedding. The house seems preferable to Braxton, who appears to be tired of living apart from his sweetheart. They each reside in their respective parents’ homes.
After seeing the options for each—massive showers vs. doughnut walls, backyards vs. wedding bands—the couple ultimately decide to spend their $30,000 on a wedding day. They still live with their parents.
Emily and Braxton are just one of 10 couples on Netflix’s new show, Marriage or Mortgage, which pits a wedding planner, Sarah Miller, against a real estate agent, Nichole Holmes, to vie for a couple’s $30,000—which they can spend on either a wedding or a house. It debuted today on the streaming service. (Warning: minor spoilers ahead.)
The show brings up a popular, perhaps daunting, question: If you had to choose between buying a house you could live in for the rest of your life or a party that lasts one day, what would you put your tens of thousands in savings toward?
“If a couple can afford to do both, by all means, go for the bash and buy a house,” Holmes tells Fortune. “But that is not the experience of these 10 couples. It was pretty emotional at times.”
The show does a standout job in finding a diverse set of endearing Tennessee couples, based in and around Nashville, for the competition. Some are older, some are younger; some are mixed race, and some are gay. They all seem like genuinely happy people who have faced no shortage of challenges in their relationships. The scene, Nashville, offers its own obstacles. Its wedding market is thriving, and the median home price is increasing as the population expands, thanks to its growing tech and health care industries.
The couples all come in with about the same budget, and it’s an important number: $30,000. The average cost of a wedding in the U.S., pre-pandemic, hovers around $28,000, not including the engagement ring or a honeymoon, according to The Knot. To many, that’s a hefty chunk of change to save up by your mid- to late-twenties, the age when the average person says “I do.” By comparison, Zillow prices the average home in the country at just shy of $270,000. If you’re looking at a typical mortgage with a 10% down payment, that means the home buyer will need $27,000 to put in an offer. It’s clear to see how these are two competing uses for the nest egg that a couple may save by the time they are in their thirties.
The financially practical option is to purchase a home. It’s an investment in the true sense of the word, as the couple will build equity and will see a return on that investment when they sell it. Unlike renting, money isn’t going into a black hole that you can’t recoup. But it’s shortsighted to assume everyone would make the rational financial choice. As humans, we make emotional purchases, too. Add to that social pressures, especially on women, to have a “big fat wedding” and feel like a princess, and it’s easy to see how a couple, on Netflix or in real life, may be swayed.
“A wedding is symbolic of commitment, and what better way to have that before taking any other steps in life,” Miller says. “I am such a traditionalist on customs that most younger couples might have forgotten about—what their parents and grandparents believed in. Have your love bound together first.”
What the program doesn’t present are the intricacies of either decision, especially when it comes to the wedding ceremony and reception details. Wedding topics seem focus on just three key parts, leaving viewers to wonder if they considered line items for other popular categories such as the photographer, flowers, bartending staff, and even attire.
The wedding planning operates under two false assumptions that plague plenty of couples not on the show: one, that a marriage equals a wedding; two, that a wedding is an investment. To start with, couples can easily get married without the fanfare of a party with 150 guests. A marriage license in most states will put you back, give or take, $25. That leaves $29,975 for a down payment. It’s more common than most people think for couples to be legally wed prior to an actual wedding celebration, meaning any of the couples could say “I do,” purchase the house, and hold a wedding down the road.
There is something to be said for making the marital commitment in front of your supportive community of friends and family, and Miller reminds couples consistently that a wedding is more than a party. She may attempt to sway them with helicopter rides and custom suits, but always comes back to the inherent idea that it’s about having those who believe in the couple’s love with them on that day.
It would, however, be remiss to call a wedding an investment, despite that word often being thrown around in that way. Yes, a wedding allows you to create memories, which do hold sentimental value, but that’s not the definition of an investment. You can’t later sell your wedding for the same as or more than you paid, as you can a house. As Holmes says, “You aren’t making a profit off releasing turtledoves or carriage rides off into the sunset.” For instance, even if you were to sell your wedding dress online, you’d get about 50% of the retail price, according to Tradesy, a peer-to-peer resale marketplace. Many houses, especially in growing areas like Nashville, will sell for the same as or more than what the homeowner paid.
Both Miller and Holmes do find ways to sweeten their arguments just before the couples decide between a wedding and a house by offering discounts and freebies from vendors. It’s unclear how often this really happens when the cameras are off, but maybe that’s the liberty of a Netflix production. These deals are likely the only way many of these couples could ever hold their dream wedding for $30,000.
Their requests seem in line with wedding content presented in magazines and on social media—but the insider knowledge is that most of those weddings likely cost close to six figures or more. A $6,000 wedding gown may be a drop in the bucket for a bride with $100,000 to spend. That’s very different when it’s 20% of the total budget and she needs to feed 150 guests. Similarly, Holmes somehow manages to get a homeowner to offer an appliance budget for the pricey Smeg line. The entry-level refrigerator alone is $2,000. If that happens in real life, I want to work with her.
The show serves as a financial counter to Netflix’s other wedding series of the moment, The Big Day, which follows couples in India and the planning of their nuptials, with thousands of guests, multiple events over the course of days, and sometimes even two weddings in different countries. In this three-episode collection, the challenge the couples face is how to come together despite differences in religion or tradition, with two couples doing away entirely with a customary Hindu ceremony. But money is no object to these couples, as their respective parents have saved for years or even decades to throw this massive event.
It does have all the flash of a quintessential dream wedding: over-the-top decor, packed dance floors, friends flying in from around the globe, and families sparing no expense. One bride’s parents planted dozens of mustard plants a year in advance so that the ceremony would look like a scene out of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, an immensely popular Hindi film. Another family hired two Bollywood stars to make cameos at the entrance to a pre-ceremony party. And another bride and her future sister-in-laws get personal fittings with acclaimed designer Gaurav Gupta at his studio in New Delhi. Who footed the bill? The groom’s parents, who also gave the bride a pearl-and-diamond necklace to wear with her gown.
A thought expressed by many a couple on both shows is that they “deserve” a dream wedding, whether or not they can afford it. This sense of entitlement is rampant among to-be-weds, and it prompts the question: What effect does televised entertainment like this have on someone thinking about his or her future? Anecdotally, it feels like a perpetuation of misconceptions about weddings, marriage, financial literacy, and homeownership. It calls to mind an entire cottage industry for wedding loans, with companies like Upstart touting wedding funding (with sometimes very high interest rates) and Maroo offering to help couples finance their weddings with layaway-like payment plans.
“I am not in this industry to make my couples broke or in debt,” Miller says, echoing a sentiment shared by wedding planners everywhere. It’s one of the perks of hiring one: to serve as a guide, especially around cost. “Be smart about planning, and come in with an open mind. You will be surprised what you might be able to afford,” she adds.
Luckily, on Marriage or Mortgage, there’s almost a 50-50 split between home purchasers and wedding planners. In fact, one couple proves you really can have it all: Denise and Nicholas opted for a house, and the scene pans to Holmes and Miller stopping by with a housewarming gift months later. Before they toast with the show’s hosts in their new space, Nicholas casually drops the word “wife,” and Denise flashes a wedding band. The couple eloped in their dream outfits, captured by a photographer, and now live in their dream house.