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????親愛的安妮：自從2010年底丟了工作后，我就一直靠自己的積蓄和一點遺產(chǎn)度日。雖然我也沒閑著，一直在做一些咨詢項目和志愿者工作，但我真的需要找一份全職工作。我總是聽人說，利用自己的職業(yè)人脈求職遠(yuǎn)勝過看招聘廣告投簡歷，從我過去的工作經(jīng)驗來看，我知道這話說的沒錯。

????我的問題是，我真的很猶豫要不要再聯(lián)系那些已經(jīng)很多年沒見過面或通過話的前同事和其他熟人。如今再請他們幫忙似乎是個非分的要求。迄今為止，我一直強迫自己不管怎樣還是這么做了。但當(dāng)我聯(lián)系這些人，問他們是否知道什么消息，隨便什么都行，大家通常都很不自在，說不了幾句就會陷入沉默。是我在處理人脈上不得要領(lǐng)嗎？——榆木疙瘩

????親愛的榆木疙瘩：你真的在問別人是否知道“隨便什么信息”嗎？如果是，這可能是你犯下的第一個錯誤?！熬烤故裁词侨嗣}求職，對此有很多誤解，”從業(yè)多年的職業(yè)咨詢師達雷爾?格尼表示，他也是《打破常規(guī)求職法》（Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest）一書的作者。

????“每次我在求職培訓(xùn)班上問人們，怎么看人脈求職，他們常常會說：‘聯(lián)系我的業(yè)務(wù)聯(lián)系人，讓他們知道我在找工作，并問他們是否知道隨便什么信息，’”格尼說?！皢栴}是如果你問的是‘隨便什么信息’，你得到的可能也是隨便什么。”

????或者，正如你現(xiàn)在一樣，一無所獲。以下是人脈求職中常見的其他五大誤區(qū)：

????1. 開門見山?！爱?dāng)然，你需要一份工作，”格尼說。“但在這方面，人脈求職有點像約會。如果你看上去很迫切，人們就會奪路而逃?！彼ㄗh求職者應(yīng)著重關(guān)注自己最感興趣的工作，然后搜集相關(guān)的信息。

????“想辦法接觸那些有知識經(jīng)驗的人，同他們交談會更有成效，”格尼說?！啊艺谘芯窟@個領(lǐng)域’和‘我需要一份工作’的感覺截然不同?！边@樣不僅能拓展人脈圈子，也有助于了解到更多的職位空缺信息，大大增加成功的機會，找到合適的職位的。格尼說：“假如你曾經(jīng)在接手一項新工作后發(fā)現(xiàn)有太多信息自己都不了解，你就會知道這么做有多重要?！?/p>

????2. 完全依賴社交網(wǎng)站。毫無疑問，商務(wù)社交網(wǎng)站LinkedIn、Facebook這類網(wǎng)站在找工作時非常有用，但“它們僅僅是邁出第一步的工具，”格尼說。“你得離開電腦屏幕，與人交往。面對面會談時會發(fā)生些不同的事情?！倍彝呛苡袔椭氖虑椤?/p>

????3. 忽視身邊每天都遇到的人。格尼會在求職培訓(xùn)班上讓人們帶著任務(wù)出去午餐：“至少同三個陌生人交談后才能回來?！碑?dāng)然，一開始要這樣做可不容易?！暗珶o論如何，工作面試也是這樣，”格尼說?！霸谛前涂耍⊿tarbucks）咖啡店排隊時站在你身后的那個人沒準(zhǔn)就是你未來雇主的小舅子?！?/p>

????Dear Annie: I've been living on my savings and a small inheritance since I lost my job in late 2010 and, while I've kept busy with some consulting projects and volunteer work, I really need to find a full-time position. I keep hearing that tapping my network of professional contacts is a far better approach than responding to ads and, based on my own experience in my past jobs, I know it's true.

????My problem is that I really hesitate to get in touch with former colleagues and other acquaintances I haven't seen or spoken with in years. It seems like an imposition. So far, I've been forcing myself to do it anyway. But when I contact people and ask if they know of anything, all that comes of it is a short, awkward conversation, followed by silence. Is there some secret to networking that I'm missing? — Stumped

????Dear Stumped: Are you really asking if people know of "anything"? If so, that may be your first mistake. "There are a lot of misconceptions about what networking really is," says Darrell Gurney, a longtime career coach and author of Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest.

????"In my job search workshops, when I ask people to tell me what they think networking is, they usually say, 'Getting in touch with my business contacts to let them know I'm looking for work and asking if they know of anything,'" says Gurney. "The trouble is that, if you ask for 'anything,' you just might get it."

????Or, as you've found, you'll get nowhere. Here are five other common networking errors:

????1. Leading with your need. "Of course you need a job," says Gurney. "But in this way, networking is a bit like dating. If you seem desperate, people will run the other way." Instead, he recommends taking stock of exactly what kind of work would fascinate and engage you most, and then launching an information-gathering campaign.

????"Find ways to approach people that call on their knowledge and expertise, and the conversations you have with them will be far more productive," Gurney says. "'I'm researching this field' has a whole different feel than 'I need a job.'" Not only will you make more connections and learn more about specific openings, but you'll vastly increase your chances of ending up in the right place. Says Gurney, "If you've ever taken a job without enough information about it beforehand, you know all too well why this matters."

????2. Relying exclusively on online social networks. There's no question that LinkedIn (LNKD), Facebook, and their ilk can be tremendously useful in a job hunt, but "they're a tool that is only a good first step," Gurney says. "You need to get away from the computer screen and connect with people. Different things happen when you meet with someone in person." They're often very helpful things.

????3. Overlooking the people you come across every day. In his job search workshops, Gurney sends people out to lunch with an assignment: "Don't come back until you've engaged in at least three conversations with strangers." Perhaps not surprisingly, this doesn't go over well at first. "Nevertheless, people get job interviews this way," Gurney says. "The guy standing in line next to you at Starbucks could be your next employer's brother-in-law."