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專欄 - 向Anne提問(wèn)

職場(chǎng)上你該如何道歉?

Anne Fisher 2014年08月19日

Anne Fisher為《財(cái)富》雜志《向Anne提問(wèn)》的專欄作者,這個(gè)職場(chǎng)專欄始于1996年,幫助讀者適應(yīng)經(jīng)濟(jì)的興衰起落、行業(yè)轉(zhuǎn)換,以及工作中面臨的各種困惑。
向上司、同事或客戶說(shuō)對(duì)不起,可能會(huì)面臨棘手的辦公室政治問(wèn)題,甚至面臨法律風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。但有時(shí)候,你不得不這么做。

????彌補(bǔ)過(guò)失可能更加困難,因?yàn)檫@需要你低聲下氣,忍辱含垢。例如,你可以詢問(wèn)上司,如果你去見一下當(dāng)時(shí)出席會(huì)議的高層,向他解釋一下數(shù)字上出現(xiàn)混亂的原因,是否會(huì)有幫助。這樣一來(lái),“你的上司在他的上司眼中便不會(huì)顯得如此愚蠢。如果他提出其他彌補(bǔ)損失的主意,也要甘心接受,”布魯姆說(shuō)道。

????第四步:如果你的上司想要發(fā)泄,只要聽著即可。不論他說(shuō)什么或用什么方式說(shuō),不要打斷他或試圖為自己的行為辯護(hù)。給對(duì)方機(jī)會(huì)告訴你,你造成的麻煩有多嚴(yán)重,以及他有多生氣(傷心或失望),通常是道歉中“最困難的部分,但如果不這么做,對(duì)方就不會(huì)感覺到自己的情緒有人傾聽?!?/p>

????然后,做一下深呼吸,因?yàn)槟忝鎸?duì)的是一位只要他愿意,就可以你解雇或降職的上司,所以要繼續(xù)第五個(gè)步驟:“感謝您又給了我一次機(jī)會(huì)?!?/p>

????第六個(gè)步驟非常簡(jiǎn)單:永遠(yuǎn)不要做同樣的事情。布魯姆說(shuō)道:“最后被解雇的那些人,都是因?yàn)闆]有從錯(cuò)誤中汲取教訓(xùn)?!?/p>

????你沒有說(shuō)正常情況下,與上司的關(guān)系是否密切,但如果是這樣的話,還要再提醒你一句。布魯姆說(shuō)道:“在許多公司中,等級(jí)逐漸變成了無(wú)形的存在,所有人似乎都或多或少實(shí)現(xiàn)了平等。但即便在學(xué)院氣息濃厚的文化中,盡管同事之間友好隨和,但在向地位高于你的人道歉時(shí),也不能太過(guò)隨意。只要你犯了錯(cuò),等級(jí)便會(huì)立刻顯露出其本來(lái)的面目。你必須尊重等級(jí)的存在?!?/p>

????同樣,她說(shuō)道:“道歉的時(shí)候不要開玩笑。幽默對(duì)于舒緩緊張很有幫助,但這會(huì)讓對(duì)方很難判斷你的歉意是否真誠(chéng)?!?/p>

????當(dāng)然,不要因此自責(zé)不已。布魯姆說(shuō)道,人無(wú)完人,“每個(gè)人都曾經(jīng)歷過(guò)道歉,只是沒有人愿意說(shuō)出來(lái)而已,”CEO有時(shí)也難免。只要你向?qū)Ψ奖磉_(dá)了自己的后悔,便應(yīng)該把此事拋在腦后,繼續(xù)前行。運(yùn)氣好的話,你的上司也會(huì)這么做的。事情終會(huì)過(guò)去。

????反饋:你是否曾不得不向上司或同事道歉,或曾接受過(guò)別人的道歉?最后結(jié)果如何?歡迎評(píng)論。(財(cái)富中文網(wǎng))

????譯者:劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????Making amends may be tougher and require that you swallow a few bites of humble pie. You might, for example, ask your boss whether it would help if you met with the senior manager who was at the meeting to explain the mix-up with the numbers, so “your boss doesn’t seem so clueless to his boss,” says Bloom. “Be open to any other idea he might have for repairing the damage.”

????The fourth step: If your boss wants to vent, just listen. No matter what he says or how he says it, don’t interrupt or try to defend your actions. Giving the other party a chance to tell you how badly you screwed up, and how angry (or hurt, or disappointed) they are “is often the hardest part” of any apology, “but the person you’ve wronged won’t feel they’ve been heard unless you do it,” Bloom says.

????Then, take a deep breath and, since this is someone who could probably fire or demote you if he wanted to, move on to Step Five: “Thank him for giving you another chance.”

????The sixth and last step is pretty simple: Don’t ever do the same thing again. Says Bloom, “The people who end up with pink slips are those who don’t learn from their mistakes.”

????You don’t say whether you normally have a chummy rapport with your boss but if so, a word of caution. “In lots of organizations, the hierarchy is invisible day to day, so everyone seems to be more or less equal,” says Bloom. “But even in a very collegial culture, where coworkers are friendly and casual, never apologize too casually to someone who outranks you. As soon as you’re in the wrong, the hierarchy snaps back into place. Respect it.”

????Likewise, she adds, “Never make a joke as part of an apology. Humor is great for relieving tension, but it makes it hard for people to tell how sincere you really are.”

????And, hey, try not to beat yourself up. Nobody’s perfect, and “everybody has an apology story, if they’re willing to tell it,” Bloom notes—including the occasional CEO. Once you’ve expressed your regret, put it behind you and move on. With any luck, your boss will, too. Eventually.

????Talkback:Have you ever had to apologize to a boss or coworker, or vice versa? How did it turn out? Leave a comment below.

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