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專欄 - 人間煙火

自我意識(shí):提高領(lǐng)導(dǎo)情商的關(guān)鍵

查大偉 2014年09月26日

查大偉(David Chard)是一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力培養(yǎng)顧問,在亞太地區(qū)擁有30年的從業(yè)經(jīng)驗(yàn)。作為聯(lián)心管理顧問有限公司(EngagingMinds)的創(chuàng)始人,他全身心致力于通過領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)策略實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人和組織向敬業(yè)型轉(zhuǎn)變。他普通話流利,經(jīng)常來往中國。他的聯(lián)系方式是:info@engagingminds.biz
在過去,一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者可能僅憑智商和專業(yè)技能就可以應(yīng)付管理。而在當(dāng)今日趨復(fù)雜的世界,人們對(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)也水漲船高;如果想要贏得別人的尊重,領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者就需要不斷提高自己的情商。

????因此,我們?cè)诒疚闹幸接戧P(guān)于自我意識(shí)的以下三個(gè)問題:

????? 自我意識(shí)到底是什么?

????? 如何提高自我意識(shí)?

????? 為什么說自我意識(shí)是領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者成功必需的“萬能之鑰”?

????1. 自我意識(shí)到底是什么?

????根據(jù)個(gè)人能力提升網(wǎng)站Mind Tools(http://www.mindtools.com/)的定義,自我意識(shí)是“總是知道自己的感受,懂得自己的情緒和行為對(duì)他人會(huì)造成何種影響;作為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者,具有自我意識(shí)還意味著清楚自己的長處和不足,待人處事時(shí)保持謙虛”。

????能做到這些,的確是一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的開端。但想要真正理解自我意識(shí),就必須更加深入地了解它。在我們的定義中,自我意識(shí)和“他人意識(shí)”只是一體兩面。如同陰陽相生,它們是同一過程中兩個(gè)天然的組成部分。你一定會(huì)問:“那又如何?”呶,不妨思考一下以下問題:

????? 如果沒有“他人”,再說“自我”還有什么意義,不是嗎?我們每個(gè)人不都是從與他人的交往中,無論是同事、家人或陌生人,自然而然地形成“自我”體驗(yàn)的嗎?

????? 這些“他人”也通過與“他人”的交往形成“自我”體驗(yàn)。

????? 因此自我意識(shí)和他人意識(shí)不能分開而論:提及其一,則必須提及其二。

????? 要成為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者,首要的問題就是認(rèn)識(shí)自己,然后才能理解他人。

????了解這些就夠了嗎?如果你對(duì)自己的認(rèn)識(shí)更加深入,別人在你眼中也不再那么神秘難測(cè)了。通過提高自我意識(shí),你提高了認(rèn)識(shí)能力、具備同理心,也贏得了信任。何樂而不為!?而且,人的天性就是以自我為中心,大多數(shù)人更愿意時(shí)不時(shí)看看鏡子中的自己,不是嗎?但是這種自我欣賞或者說孤芳自賞的心態(tài)不是本文討論的范圍。本文要談的問題是你,一個(gè)愿意并開始全面認(rèn)識(shí)自我、認(rèn)同自我的你?,F(xiàn)在,如果你已經(jīng)做好準(zhǔn)備,我們就可以回答“什么是自我意識(shí)”的問題了。

????自我意識(shí)包括:

????? 知道自己喜歡什么,不喜歡什么,以及當(dāng)中的原因:什么可以激勵(lì)你,什么讓你沮喪,認(rèn)識(shí)自己的價(jià)值觀

????? 對(duì)自己的才能、優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)了然于心

????? 明白自己在想什么(并非你可能以為的那種“明白”!)……觀察自己思想的能力

????? 明白自己的信念,同時(shí)明白哪些可以帶來力量,哪些應(yīng)該拋棄……同時(shí)包括對(duì)自己和對(duì)他人的信念

????? 明白自己的人生方向:你的目標(biāo)是什么以及原因何在

????? 認(rèn)識(shí)并欣賞自己作為人類的獨(dú)特價(jià)值

????So in this article we are going to talk about three things regarding Self-Awareness:

????? What is it really?

????? How can you develop it?

????? Why it is the absolutely essential “Master Key” for aspiring leaders

????1. Self-Awareness: what is it really?

????According to Mind Tools (http://www.mindtools.com/) “If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.”

????That’s a good start but to really understand Self Awareness, you must go deeper than this. In our definition, Self-Awareness and “Other Awareness” are simply two sides of the same coin. The two are natural parts of the same process, just as Yin is part of Yang. “So what?” you ask! Well, think about this:

????? If there were no ‘others’ it wouldn’t make any sense to talk about a ‘self’ at all…would it? As humans, we naturally experience our ‘self’ in relationship to others, whether they be colleagues, family members, or utter strangers.

????? Those ‘others’ also experience their ‘self” only in relation to ‘others.’

????? Therefore, Self Awareness and Other Awareness should not be separated: when we talk about one, we must talk about the other.

????? For you emerging leaders: there is nothing more important than understanding your self, in order that you can understand others.

????The good news in all this?As you deepen your insights into yourself, others stop seeming so mysterious and hard to understand. You will gain insight, empathy and confidence simply by working on your own Self-Awareness. What a deal! ? And, since humans are at root, self-centered, most people are more than willing to looking in the mirror once in a while, right? But that kind of self-admiration and narcissism are NOT what we are writing about here. We are talking about you, willing to see the WHOLE picture of yourself, embrace it as it is, and start working with it. Ok, if you are ready, we can now answer the question “What is self awareness really?”

????Self-Awareness includes:

????? Knowing what you like, dislike and why: what motivates you and what demotivates you, being aware of your own values

????? Being crystal clear about your talents and strengths AND your weaknesses

????? Being conscious of the content of your own mind (not as common as you might think!)…the ability to observe your own thoughts

????? Knowing your own beliefs and knowing which ones empower you and which ones should be discarded…including beliefs about yourself AND others

????? Knowing your direction in life: where you are headed and why

????? Knowing and appreciating your own unique value as a human being

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