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專(zhuān)欄 - 向Anne提問(wèn)

在辦公室里哭合不合適?

Anne Fisher 2013年01月08日

Anne Fisher為《財(cái)富》雜志《向Anne提問(wèn)》的專(zhuān)欄作者,這個(gè)職場(chǎng)專(zhuān)欄始于1996年,幫助讀者適應(yīng)經(jīng)濟(jì)的興衰起落、行業(yè)轉(zhuǎn)換,以及工作中面臨的各種困惑。
大約1/4的人(包括男性和女性)會(huì)在極度壓力下流淚,這是自然的生理反應(yīng)。那么,為什么人們依然認(rèn)為哭泣是職場(chǎng)的一個(gè)禁忌呢?

????但為何在很多工作場(chǎng)合流露真性情已經(jīng)越來(lái)越可接受的第三個(gè)原因可能也是最有說(shuō)服力的一個(gè)原因?!霸试S情緒更加外露,從根本上是件好事,”克里默表示。她在新書(shū)中提到有無(wú)數(shù)研究顯示,在眾多因素中,一個(gè)接受情緒的工作環(huán)境更容易觸發(fā)創(chuàng)造和創(chuàng)新,在工作場(chǎng)合表達(dá)更多的共鳴和同情還可以降低人員流失率,減少曠工。

????但似乎你所在公司的高管們尚未完全了解這些好處,那么你能做些什么來(lái)控制自己的眼淚呢?“你需要對(duì)那些可能引發(fā)你哭泣的因素有所預(yù)期,”克里默建議說(shuō)?!爱?dāng)你覺(jué)得自己可能會(huì)流眼淚的時(shí)候,可以起身去倒杯水或咖啡或去趟洗手間。只要站起來(lái)走動(dòng)一下,就能改變身體的反應(yīng),不再落淚?!?/p>

????她還建議,可以“找一種方式,定期釋放壓力——任何方式都可以,不管是瑜伽、跑步,還是冥想,只要對(duì)你管用?!比魏畏绞街灰芙档湍阍谏钪懈惺艿降膲毫偹?,就能幫助你控制自己的反應(yīng),特別是在感覺(jué)難以承受時(shí)。

????同時(shí),“分析你列出的可能引發(fā)哭泣的因素,”克里默建議?!胺治銮榫w背后的東西。是什么讓你感到難以承受?是一位難以相處的同事,缺乏資源,還是最后期限不切實(shí)際?可能會(huì)有一些具體因素,你可以嘗試修正。”如果有,讓你的老板知道是什么,表明你在解決問(wèn)題。(鑒于他對(duì)你的表現(xiàn)評(píng)價(jià)是“很出色”,他可能愿意幫你一把。)

????克里默最后還補(bǔ)充了一句?!澳愦_定自己想要升職嗎?”她問(wèn)?!翱赡苓@就是你的壓力所在?!苯眨死锬凇豆鹕虡I(yè)評(píng)論》(Harvard Business Review)的一篇博文中就很有說(shuō)服力地指出,首先要弄清楚成功對(duì)你意味著什么,然后現(xiàn)實(shí)地分析當(dāng)前雇主是否能給你這些。也許你在其他地方工作或?yàn)樽约哼x擇一條不同的職業(yè)道路,就完全沒(méi)有必要再討論“如何避免在職場(chǎng)中哭泣”這個(gè)問(wèn)題了。當(dāng)然,這只是個(gè)人的一點(diǎn)想法。

????反饋:你是人群中愛(ài)哭的25%之一嗎?或者,你的身邊有這樣的一個(gè)人嗎?你對(duì)此采取了些什么行動(dòng)?歡迎在下面留言。

????But the third reason why expressions of emotion are increasingly accepted in many workplaces is probably the most compelling. "Allowing emotions to be more out in the open is good for the bottom line," Kreamer says. Her book cites numerous studies showing, among other things, that a work environment that acknowledges emotion is more conducive to creativity and innovation, and expressing greater empathy and compassion at work leads to lower turnover and less absenteeism.

????But it seems higher-ups at your company have yet to get the memo about all that, so what can you do to control your waterworks? "You need to anticipate the triggers that cause you to cry," Kreamer suggests. "When you sense one coming, get up and go to the water fountain or the coffeepot or the bathroom. Just getting up and moving around can alter your body chemistry enough to stem the tears."

????She also recommends that you "find a stress reliever you can do regularly -- whatever works for you, whether it's yoga or running or meditation." Anything that lowers the overall stress level in your life should help you control your reactions to especially tough moments.

????At the same time, "take a very analytical look at your list of what triggers your crying," Kreamer advises. "Analyze what underlies the emotion. What is it that makes you feel overwhelmed? Is it a difficult colleague, a lack of resources, impractical deadlines? There may be something concrete there that you can try to fix." If there is, let your boss know what it is and make it clear that you're addressing the problem. (Given his assessment of your performance as "fantastic," he may even be willing to give you a hand with it.)

????Kreamer offers one further comment. "Are you sure you want to get promoted?" she asks. "Maybe that's what's stressing you." In a recent Harvard Business Review blog post, Kreamer made a persuasive case for having a clear idea of what success means to you, and then reaching a realistic decision about whether your current employer can offer it. Maybe if you worked somewhere else, or forged a different career path for yourself, the whole question of how to stop crying at work would be moot. Just a thought.

????Talkback: Are you a member of the 25% of the population that cries easily, or do you work with someone who is? What do you do about it? Leave a comment below.

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