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專欄 - 人間煙火

怎樣規(guī)避“信任稅”(下)

David Chard 2013年10月12日

查大偉(David Chard)是一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力培養(yǎng)顧問(wèn),在亞太地區(qū)擁有30年的從業(yè)經(jīng)驗(yàn)。作為聯(lián)心管理顧問(wèn)有限公司(EngagingMinds)的創(chuàng)始人,他全身心致力于通過(guò)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)策略實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人和組織向敬業(yè)型轉(zhuǎn)變。他普通話流利,經(jīng)常來(lái)往中國(guó)。他的聯(lián)系方式是:info@engagingminds.biz
一旦我們轉(zhuǎn)變觀念,拋棄“我們”和“他們”這樣粗暴簡(jiǎn)單的立場(chǎng),轉(zhuǎn)而接受“我們這個(gè)世界”和“他們這個(gè)世界”,從系統(tǒng)的角度來(lái)觀察和處理各種關(guān)系, 人們就會(huì)對(duì)彼此產(chǎn)生新的認(rèn)識(shí),也會(huì)更加堅(jiān)定地追求合作共贏。

????我們?cè)诒鞠盗械牡谝徊糠种刑接懥撕献鞯男再|(zhì),合作關(guān)系從何而來(lái)?合作關(guān)系為什么會(huì)破裂?我們給合作下的定義是:“所有人為他們所參與的活動(dòng)獲得成功而共同努力?!蔽覀兺瑫r(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn),一旦人們之間“出現(xiàn)狀況”,他們就會(huì)編造故事,加入個(gè)人感情,變得怒不可遏,然后合作關(guān)系就走向終點(diǎn)。

????這種情況并不是每次都會(huì)發(fā)生,也不是每個(gè)人都會(huì)碰上,但它出現(xiàn)的頻率非常高。出現(xiàn)這樣的局面時(shí),我們就進(jìn)入了巴里?奧什里所說(shuō)的“舍本逐末”的境地。它充滿了戲劇性,它缺乏信任,人們互相責(zé)難,相互羞辱,它導(dǎo)致整個(gè)體系損失大量的能量。因?yàn)橄萑肓讼麡O心理,或者奧什里所說(shuō)的“舍本逐末”的“老步調(diào)”,我們?cè)僖膊粫?huì)“為了自己所參與的活動(dòng)、過(guò)程或項(xiàng)目獲得成功而齊心協(xié)力。”

????合作關(guān)系的破裂給組織機(jī)構(gòu)的成功造成的損失令人震驚?!吧岜局鹉泵磕甓紩?huì)給企業(yè)和個(gè)人帶來(lái)數(shù)十億美元的成本,和真正的戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)別無(wú)二致。具有諷刺意味的是,圍繞“這些狀況”的爭(zhēng)端經(jīng)常是因?yàn)槿藗兿嗷閷?duì)方編造的故事而起……隨后他們甚至還會(huì)把這些故事當(dāng)真!

????有沒(méi)有另外一種可能性?好消息是,換上一幅新的眼鏡來(lái)觀察和體會(huì)他人世界中的“先決條件”后,我們就有可能創(chuàng)建起奧什里所說(shuō)的組織機(jī)構(gòu)“核心圈”。在這個(gè)核心圈中,人們之間的合作生機(jī)勃勃,一片繁榮。人與人之間高度信任,員工流失率很低。工作進(jìn)展迅速,障礙得到掃除,目標(biāo)得以實(shí)現(xiàn)。人們對(duì)自己成為其中一員既興奮又高興,甚至愿意向前多走一步,而這正是員工積極主動(dòng)的定義。沒(méi)錯(cuò),所有這些都有可能實(shí)現(xiàn)。不過(guò),它需要管理者對(duì)自己所領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的整個(gè)體系有清晰的認(rèn)知,而且有能力引領(lǐng)別人也看到整個(gè)體系。

????長(zhǎng)期以來(lái),科學(xué)方法一直認(rèn)為,要想得到不同的結(jié)果,就要調(diào)整實(shí)驗(yàn)變量。奧什里建議我們考慮進(jìn)行下列調(diào)整:

????? 學(xué)習(xí)在自己所處的體系中主動(dòng)體會(huì)讓他人苦苦掙扎的那些“條件”。

????? 確立個(gè)人立場(chǎng),做出承諾,保持合作關(guān)系,不要陷入“老步調(diào)”而不能自拔——也就是在“出現(xiàn)某些狀況”時(shí)變得消極起來(lái)。

????? 定期擠出一些時(shí)間,以便體系中的所有成員都有機(jī)會(huì)向別人說(shuō)明他們自己的“世界”中局勢(shì)如何,這樣其他人就能了解他們的情況;這樣做還能讓他們?yōu)轶w系中的其他部門提供后者需要的有價(jià)值信息,以便推進(jìn)項(xiàng)目的進(jìn)展。

????領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的新定義。這個(gè)理論聽(tīng)起來(lái)頭頭是道,但說(shuō)起來(lái)容易做起來(lái)難。管理者在其中必須發(fā)揮作用。但在這里我們要賦予“領(lǐng)導(dǎo)”這個(gè)詞什么樣的定義呢?

????“領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者是這樣一批人,無(wú)論他們?cè)诮M織機(jī)構(gòu)中擔(dān)任什么樣的職位或責(zé)任,他們的立場(chǎng)一直是支持和維護(hù)自己所在體系中的所有合作關(guān)系,以便幫助這個(gè)體系中的所有成員獲得成功?!?/p>

????領(lǐng)導(dǎo)意味著通過(guò)以身作則來(lái)引領(lǐng)別人。有些“東西”似乎不可避免地針對(duì)我們,對(duì)此我們都要決定自己將做出怎樣的反應(yīng)。我們可以本能地作出反應(yīng),然后進(jìn)入“舍本逐末”這樣一個(gè)下行螺旋之中;或者我們也可以不慌不忙地觀察自己的反應(yīng),然后選擇最有利于追求合作的方式。實(shí)際情況表明,“舍本逐末”不僅似曾相似,而且可以預(yù)見(jiàn)。而核心圈的生態(tài)則不可預(yù)知,雖然它是人類的可能狀態(tài),而且一直都存在。

????In part 1 of this series we looked at the nature of partnerships, where they come from and how they can be lost. We adopted a definition of partnership: “when each person is jointly committed to the success of whatever endeavor they are in.” And, we saw that when “stuff happens” between people, they make up stories, take things personally, get angry and that’s the end of partnership.

????Not every time, not everyone, but with great regularity. When this happens, we are living in what Barry Oshry calls “The Side Show” – a place of drama, loss of trust, blaming and shaming – with great energy loss for the system. Because when we are in the reactive mentality or “Old Dance” of the “Side Show,” we are no longer “jointly committed to the success of whatever endeavor, process, or project we are in.”

????And the cost of failed partnerships to organizational success can be staggering.

????Not unlike true war, the “Side Show” costs businesses and people billions of dollars every single year. Ironically, the war of “stuff” is regularly triggered by the stories we make up about each other…and then take as real!

????What Else is Possible? The good news is that, with a new set of lenses that allow us to see into and experience the “pre-existing conditions” of others’ worlds, we have the possibility to create what Oshry calls “The Center Ring” of the organization. In the Center Ring, partnerships flourish and prosper. Trust is high and stays high. Things happen quickly, obstacles are overcome, objectives achieved. And people are excited and happy to be a part of it–even ready to “go the extra mile” –the very definition of the Actively Engaged employee. Yes, all that IS possible. However, it requires leaders who can clearly see the entire system they are leading, and who are capable of leading others to see the whole system as well.

????The Scientific Method has long held that to obtain a different outcome, one should change the experimental variables. These are several changes that Oshry suggests we consider:

????? Learn to have active empathy for the “conditions” in which other players in the system struggle to survive.

????? Take a personal stand, a commitment, to stay in partnership, rather than fall into the trance of “The Old Dance” – being reactive when “Stuff happens.”

????? Create regular “Times Out of Time” in which there are opportunities for all members of the system to express what is happening in their “worlds,” so that others can understand their experience, and to share valuable information needed by other parts of the system in order to move their projects ahead.

????New Definition of Leadership. All of this theory sounds good, but it is easier said than done. This is where leaders must play their roles. But what is the definition of leadership we are using here?

????“Leaders are those people, who regardless of their position or role in the organization, consistently take a stand to support and maintain partnerships throughout the system they are in, to support the success of everyone in the system.”

????Leading means leading by personal example. Each of us has a choice about how we respond to the “Stuff” that inevitably seems directed at us. We can react instinctively and enter the downward spiral of the Side Show, or we can take the time to observe our reactions and then choose in favor of our commitment to partnership. The Side Show, it turns out, is familiar and predictable. Living in the Center Ring is not predictable, though it is always there as a human possibility.

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